Wednesday, November 26, 2003

The story thus far...

I guess it all began when I decided it was time to find passionate love in my life. I was in a marriage that was unhappy and we did not talk much anymore or share any intimacy. My husband brought home a computer and I entered the world of IRC and found many people who shared my interests – I began to walk down a dark and risqué path – meeting people I had talked to on-line – not even realising how dangerous this could be…

Enter the poet: I met him through a mutual friend from on-line – we both attended a concert on campus at CWRU – he was beautiful young man and a writer and before long we became lovers…it was intense and passionate and wrong. I ended my marriage to be with him….my family was devastated but I was madly in love/lust and he filled a need for me that had been there too long. Our passion was the stuff of novels, Wuthering Heights, gothic, dark, fires burning, it was uncontrollable and breathless…

After sometime of being together I found out that my dear poet had a dark side (don’t they all?) – brooding and angry and depressed – he dragged me down into the depths of his madness. I found out he was seeing women behind my back (perhaps I should have paid better attention then?). Hindsight is always 20/20….because of his problems we parted ways. Eventually we found ourselves back together and on the mend. Eventually we found ourselves married.

He wanted to get married and I warned my poet that we (especially he) would not like this – that is can sometimes drench the fires of passion – but he did not wish to ‘play house’ – so we married…had a nice honeymoon and then – enter boredom, tediousness, day-to-day life. Almost as if a self-fulfilling prophecy my poet got bored…he began to act differently – depressed again – I was busy with my own life and pursuits and in ways I suppose I neglected him and his needs. He began to stay away form home more and come home late. At one point he was very excited because he found his writing again…the writing he presented me with that particular time was about fucking a girl in a bathroom – as a wife (not as Colette) I became suspicious – I questioned his gaming friend - to find out that my husband had been 'seeing' someone I did not know.

Enter Aurora 18-year-old ‘friend’ of my poet – I kept trying to put pieces of the puzzle together and found their respective blogs with his romantic writings about her – not too much on hers about him.

I confronted her (she told me they were just friends), then I confronted him…he finally admits has feelings for this girl – not knowing her I am not sure I can blame him – that is aside of course from the fact of their age difference - not that that should matter either.

I am heartbroken...I have asked the poet to leave...


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