For ladies eyes only...
It’s *that* time of the month again...
(I am not trying to write about bodily functions with the purpose of ‘grossing anyone out’ so if this is upsetting to you go read something else)
The story of my period is one of some humour (at the beginning at least) – for you see I’ve been dealing with it since I was about 11 years old (I ‘blossomed’ rather early) – since my mom was of the ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’ school when it came to talking to your kids about sex etc. I did not know what was happening to me one summer afternoon when I suddenly began bleeding. I was horrified and ran screaming downstairs in front of my mom’s bridge club that ‘I was dying! I was bleeding!’ *smirk* I am most certain my mom was as embarrassed as I was frightened – the next day we had ‘the talk’.
When I was dealing with it growing up my periods were very heavy 7 days long and I’d bleed heavily for 5 of those 7 days. After having my kids it became worse in the sense of the pain (I was lucky to not have a lot of cramping but then, when I was young I was incredibly active and that probably kept it at bay)...
For a couple years, (when I was with my ex) I was on Depo-Provera (the ‘shot’), I did not have my period for two entire years. Now some of you out there might think that was a blessing – however – I believe that having your period is one of the most natural things a woman can do, and is (to me at least), a blessing – reminding us that we are women and we have the ability to give birth (which is a miracle as far as I am concerned, as well), so NOT getting my period kind of freaked me out...so much so that I told my ex he needed to do something permanent since we weren’t having any kids, and I was tired of either being on something hormonal or having to deal with the possibility of unwanted pregnancy.
Now-a-days, since I am advancing in my years, I take every single period I have left as a ‘gift’, a gentle reminder (although, they are not so gentle now - I am in more pain than ever…thankfully they are much shorter in duration), of the fact that I am still not quite ‘over the hill’. The heaviness as the blood runs through me, the feeling that my center of gravity is somehow ‘lower’ during these days - making me feel closer to the earth and somehow more primal, is a comfort/blessing. Sure I feel more bitchy (heaven help us could I get any more bitchy? LOL), I have migraines, I am in pain (all over at times), and, because I am getting older they come a lot of times without warnings (when I was younger I’d know a week in advance when I was getting my period), and now too they ‘skip around’ a bit so it’s hard for me to keep good track, and sure I get emotional (again that’s something I am to begin with), but I can’t help but feel graced by them as well – thankful that I a still reminded of the power that goes with being female and wistful because I know that soon I will no longer have such ‘episodes’ (and I know when that day that comes I will cry for the loss). I want to tell younger women to rejoice in the power you have within your bodies but they’d probably think I’m daft. That’s OK – think what you will – I still want women out there to know how it feels to be on the twilight end of your reproductive days (because I don’t think a lot of doctors talk to women about this stuff and I certainly don’t think a lot of us bring it up) – and perhaps know that someone out there will read this and feel more ‘at home’ in their own changing/aging body...
(I am not trying to write about bodily functions with the purpose of ‘grossing anyone out’ so if this is upsetting to you go read something else)
The story of my period is one of some humour (at the beginning at least) – for you see I’ve been dealing with it since I was about 11 years old (I ‘blossomed’ rather early) – since my mom was of the ‘don’t ask/don’t tell’ school when it came to talking to your kids about sex etc. I did not know what was happening to me one summer afternoon when I suddenly began bleeding. I was horrified and ran screaming downstairs in front of my mom’s bridge club that ‘I was dying! I was bleeding!’ *smirk* I am most certain my mom was as embarrassed as I was frightened – the next day we had ‘the talk’.
When I was dealing with it growing up my periods were very heavy 7 days long and I’d bleed heavily for 5 of those 7 days. After having my kids it became worse in the sense of the pain (I was lucky to not have a lot of cramping but then, when I was young I was incredibly active and that probably kept it at bay)...
For a couple years, (when I was with my ex) I was on Depo-Provera (the ‘shot’), I did not have my period for two entire years. Now some of you out there might think that was a blessing – however – I believe that having your period is one of the most natural things a woman can do, and is (to me at least), a blessing – reminding us that we are women and we have the ability to give birth (which is a miracle as far as I am concerned, as well), so NOT getting my period kind of freaked me out...so much so that I told my ex he needed to do something permanent since we weren’t having any kids, and I was tired of either being on something hormonal or having to deal with the possibility of unwanted pregnancy.
Now-a-days, since I am advancing in my years, I take every single period I have left as a ‘gift’, a gentle reminder (although, they are not so gentle now - I am in more pain than ever…thankfully they are much shorter in duration), of the fact that I am still not quite ‘over the hill’. The heaviness as the blood runs through me, the feeling that my center of gravity is somehow ‘lower’ during these days - making me feel closer to the earth and somehow more primal, is a comfort/blessing. Sure I feel more bitchy (heaven help us could I get any more bitchy? LOL), I have migraines, I am in pain (all over at times), and, because I am getting older they come a lot of times without warnings (when I was younger I’d know a week in advance when I was getting my period), and now too they ‘skip around’ a bit so it’s hard for me to keep good track, and sure I get emotional (again that’s something I am to begin with), but I can’t help but feel graced by them as well – thankful that I a still reminded of the power that goes with being female and wistful because I know that soon I will no longer have such ‘episodes’ (and I know when that day that comes I will cry for the loss). I want to tell younger women to rejoice in the power you have within your bodies but they’d probably think I’m daft. That’s OK – think what you will – I still want women out there to know how it feels to be on the twilight end of your reproductive days (because I don’t think a lot of doctors talk to women about this stuff and I certainly don’t think a lot of us bring it up) – and perhaps know that someone out there will read this and feel more ‘at home’ in their own changing/aging body...
posted by Colette at 2:18 PM
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