The voice of reason...
My life has totally changed. Not because of the new romance per se – although that is pretty wonderful; I’ve just been doing a lot more lately for me. I’ve been social. I’ve been seeing friends and going out and it feels wonderful.
I don’t usually go out on weeknights. Mainly cause my alarm goes off before 6AM every morning – so I had become this person who would come home, maybe work out, maybe eat dinner and then either write, read or veg out in front of TV. Now, I am hardly at home.
There are people that helped me through the rough times right after my marriage fell apart. One of them is my good friend Stuart – a Scottish lad whom I lovingly refer to as Dr. Evil (he has the brogue and all LOL). He is adorable. I have a HUGE crush on him. He is funny and kind and incredibly smart. He was my touchstone when I began to venture down the path of ‘dating hell’. He helped me immensely. He listened to me cry about my marriage and all the ‘fall-out’ he made me feel special and wanted and ‘attractive’ - he’s a wonderful friend.
So Wednesday we got together to have some ‘pints’ at a place in the Cedar/Fairmount neighborhood I had not been to. He showed up and we hugged, really glad to see each other. I launched into my latest romantic ‘adventure’ and he listened and nodded and interjected. I told him that I was completely taken by surprise, that I could not believe my luck; that I kept ‘pinching’ myself to make sure what was happening was ‘real’ and not some dream. Stu listened attentively – he gave me wonderful advice. He talked to me about self-esteem and ‘worthiness’ – he said ‘Why wouldn’t he be with you, C? You are wonderful!’ further, ‘If you question why a guy is with you HE is going to question why he’s with you too – in a way you are insulting him…’ I mean I never thought of it in those terms before.
I’ve never been a real ‘egomaniac’ I have not struggled with body image (I have a nice body) – but worthiness yes, perhaps a tad – just from suffering a lot of abuse – you begin to think that’s all you are ‘entitled to’ after a while. I felt a lot better after talking with Stuart. We talked about dating just one person and not playing the field – he is like me in that respect – he’s not a dog, he’s not a ‘typical’ man. I don’t think that is to say if given the opportunity he wouldn’t *think* about having more than one woman, but Stu is a true gentleman and also his life is simply too busy to be dating all kinds of people. He did tell me to not be afraid to ‘go out’ for coffee with other guys – he said just don’t ‘date’ – ‘you have to keep your options open’. I am not sure I agree with this. I mean I suppose he is an example of how you can just be with a guy as a friend – but in my particular/personal experience, most of the guys that ask me out for ‘coffee’ are not looking to just be ‘friends’ – perhaps this is another lesson for me to learn – how to get them to see me as a friend and not a romantic interest.
We had a wicked time, (well he being Dr. Evil and me being the Wiccan Priestess), and we laughed ourselves to tears. When my boyfriend gets back I am going to drag him over to Stu’s for dinner one evening and have them meet – I believe they will like each other. I am really looking forward to introducing him to friends and family – he is such a wonderful man, it’s hard not to like him.
**************
Tonight, hopefully, hanging with Mr. C. Tomorrow maybe ‘frolicking’ in the sun with Mr. C and cleaning the house, also checking on my boyfriend’s cat. Saturday night possibly going to see ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ with Liam and Sid. Sunday – relax.
Monday, and Tuesday teach. Wednesday, my darling returns….can’t wait.
Yes. Life has gotten good suddenly. Sure, there are still moments of ‘hell’ but without those moments, how would I know I that was having any ‘real’ fun.
*laughs*
I don’t usually go out on weeknights. Mainly cause my alarm goes off before 6AM every morning – so I had become this person who would come home, maybe work out, maybe eat dinner and then either write, read or veg out in front of TV. Now, I am hardly at home.
There are people that helped me through the rough times right after my marriage fell apart. One of them is my good friend Stuart – a Scottish lad whom I lovingly refer to as Dr. Evil (he has the brogue and all LOL). He is adorable. I have a HUGE crush on him. He is funny and kind and incredibly smart. He was my touchstone when I began to venture down the path of ‘dating hell’. He helped me immensely. He listened to me cry about my marriage and all the ‘fall-out’ he made me feel special and wanted and ‘attractive’ - he’s a wonderful friend.
So Wednesday we got together to have some ‘pints’ at a place in the Cedar/Fairmount neighborhood I had not been to. He showed up and we hugged, really glad to see each other. I launched into my latest romantic ‘adventure’ and he listened and nodded and interjected. I told him that I was completely taken by surprise, that I could not believe my luck; that I kept ‘pinching’ myself to make sure what was happening was ‘real’ and not some dream. Stu listened attentively – he gave me wonderful advice. He talked to me about self-esteem and ‘worthiness’ – he said ‘Why wouldn’t he be with you, C? You are wonderful!’ further, ‘If you question why a guy is with you HE is going to question why he’s with you too – in a way you are insulting him…’ I mean I never thought of it in those terms before.
I’ve never been a real ‘egomaniac’ I have not struggled with body image (I have a nice body) – but worthiness yes, perhaps a tad – just from suffering a lot of abuse – you begin to think that’s all you are ‘entitled to’ after a while. I felt a lot better after talking with Stuart. We talked about dating just one person and not playing the field – he is like me in that respect – he’s not a dog, he’s not a ‘typical’ man. I don’t think that is to say if given the opportunity he wouldn’t *think* about having more than one woman, but Stu is a true gentleman and also his life is simply too busy to be dating all kinds of people. He did tell me to not be afraid to ‘go out’ for coffee with other guys – he said just don’t ‘date’ – ‘you have to keep your options open’. I am not sure I agree with this. I mean I suppose he is an example of how you can just be with a guy as a friend – but in my particular/personal experience, most of the guys that ask me out for ‘coffee’ are not looking to just be ‘friends’ – perhaps this is another lesson for me to learn – how to get them to see me as a friend and not a romantic interest.
We had a wicked time, (well he being Dr. Evil and me being the Wiccan Priestess), and we laughed ourselves to tears. When my boyfriend gets back I am going to drag him over to Stu’s for dinner one evening and have them meet – I believe they will like each other. I am really looking forward to introducing him to friends and family – he is such a wonderful man, it’s hard not to like him.
**************
Tonight, hopefully, hanging with Mr. C. Tomorrow maybe ‘frolicking’ in the sun with Mr. C and cleaning the house, also checking on my boyfriend’s cat. Saturday night possibly going to see ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’ with Liam and Sid. Sunday – relax.
Monday, and Tuesday teach. Wednesday, my darling returns….can’t wait.
Yes. Life has gotten good suddenly. Sure, there are still moments of ‘hell’ but without those moments, how would I know I that was having any ‘real’ fun.
*laughs*
posted by Colette at 8:31 AM
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