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This was the weekend I was going to meet Erin’s dad (step-dad actually) and the rest of his immediate family.
We were together the night before at his house and we baked cookies to take – I was trying to get the kids involved and to some extent they were but it was sporadic – they wanted to be playing (who could blame them?) – it was still nice being there and sharing that time with the family.
The next day we went to Barberton where his dad lives – they have a beautiful home – I was accepted like I was family. I got to meet Erin’s sister (step) and she has a gorgeous baby and a wonderful husband – I also met his aunt and uncle this is a wonderful family and the evening was great – seeing Erin’s kids open their gifts – watching the baby play with her toys – it was nice and heart-warming. Chasing Erin’s son around the living room (I had cold hands and I was ticking him) – we were both laughing ourselves silly.
On the way home, Erin and I were snuggling a bit (it’s an hour drive) and his son noticed and made comment to the effect of ‘sparing him the mushy details’ – cute conversation. My heart is filled with these moments and I get to open them again and each time they are a treasured gift.
New Year’s eve was going to be quiet – no parties to go to. We started the day at church – there was a bit of a tense moment with Erin’s daughter – I think she was tired and it really gave me some food for thought about the prospect of becoming a permanent fixture in their lives as a family – I left out of sorts and sad. I know Erin felt bad but I get that way and sometimes I just need to ‘process’ before I speak.
I was not sure about what we were going to do that evening – I wanted to go out – I think he did too but we really had made no plans. I showed up all dressed up to be welcomed by him in jeans – I had to laugh – we talked very seriously about how I felt because these are important concerns and matters that need to be discussed (he is probably sick to death of my shit by now…) – we ended up going to Bennigan’s for dinner – service was horrendous but we had a great time gazing into on another’s eyes and being quite ‘mushy’. We went back to his place and again I was in a serious mood – we talked more and we discussed the next big step – seriously – gravely (you’d think someone had died) – I know my fear and my doubts plague things but I can’t help how I feel and I do want to be cognizant of how this makes Erin feel – but to me if we don’t discuss these ‘issues’ we may be faced with serious problems down the road if we do end up together permanently.
After all the talk we did some talking with our bodies, hearts and souls (incredible) – had some Moet & Chandon champagne and rang in the New Year – in love. Went to sleep – woke up to each other – made love again and then got clean and began our day together. We had breakfast, did chores around the house and decided to cook Persian for dinner (out of the new cookbook) – we went to a little Indian market to buy some items for the recipe. Went back to his place, had a late lunch and then he began taking down his tree. I went home to get a change of clothes for today and when I cam back he had begun dinner – the house smelled wonderful – there was Indian music playing and I felt like I had come home which is where my heart’s been all along with him….home. He is home to me – his arms are my safe harbour. We watch ‘princess Bride’ and no I had never seen the movie before (to Erin pffffttt) – it was sweet and funny (as is my Love).
We ate a wonderful dinner (Rhubarb Koresh), called it a night and went to bed in each other’s arms and woke up to begin the day again together. I can see myself doing this for the rest of my days…easily.
On my way into work this morning, again, the doubts began creeping into my mind…crowding out other thoughts. I decided to try a different tactic this time. I began to pray. As soon as I began to quietly pray to have this doubt taken from me, I rounded a bend and the moon, full, hanging low in the heavens came into view. I was in awe of the beauty and I took this as an omen and the doubt vanished. So from here on out I am going to turn these feelings over to God and if they persist I will bring them out to be examined and discussed. I am blessed to be with an incredible man who loves me despite all my faults and misgivings – who could ask for more.
Happy New Year to you all – I hope this year brings you peace, prosperity and good health.
We were together the night before at his house and we baked cookies to take – I was trying to get the kids involved and to some extent they were but it was sporadic – they wanted to be playing (who could blame them?) – it was still nice being there and sharing that time with the family.
The next day we went to Barberton where his dad lives – they have a beautiful home – I was accepted like I was family. I got to meet Erin’s sister (step) and she has a gorgeous baby and a wonderful husband – I also met his aunt and uncle this is a wonderful family and the evening was great – seeing Erin’s kids open their gifts – watching the baby play with her toys – it was nice and heart-warming. Chasing Erin’s son around the living room (I had cold hands and I was ticking him) – we were both laughing ourselves silly.
On the way home, Erin and I were snuggling a bit (it’s an hour drive) and his son noticed and made comment to the effect of ‘sparing him the mushy details’ – cute conversation. My heart is filled with these moments and I get to open them again and each time they are a treasured gift.
New Year’s eve was going to be quiet – no parties to go to. We started the day at church – there was a bit of a tense moment with Erin’s daughter – I think she was tired and it really gave me some food for thought about the prospect of becoming a permanent fixture in their lives as a family – I left out of sorts and sad. I know Erin felt bad but I get that way and sometimes I just need to ‘process’ before I speak.
I was not sure about what we were going to do that evening – I wanted to go out – I think he did too but we really had made no plans. I showed up all dressed up to be welcomed by him in jeans – I had to laugh – we talked very seriously about how I felt because these are important concerns and matters that need to be discussed (he is probably sick to death of my shit by now…) – we ended up going to Bennigan’s for dinner – service was horrendous but we had a great time gazing into on another’s eyes and being quite ‘mushy’. We went back to his place and again I was in a serious mood – we talked more and we discussed the next big step – seriously – gravely (you’d think someone had died) – I know my fear and my doubts plague things but I can’t help how I feel and I do want to be cognizant of how this makes Erin feel – but to me if we don’t discuss these ‘issues’ we may be faced with serious problems down the road if we do end up together permanently.
After all the talk we did some talking with our bodies, hearts and souls (incredible) – had some Moet & Chandon champagne and rang in the New Year – in love. Went to sleep – woke up to each other – made love again and then got clean and began our day together. We had breakfast, did chores around the house and decided to cook Persian for dinner (out of the new cookbook) – we went to a little Indian market to buy some items for the recipe. Went back to his place, had a late lunch and then he began taking down his tree. I went home to get a change of clothes for today and when I cam back he had begun dinner – the house smelled wonderful – there was Indian music playing and I felt like I had come home which is where my heart’s been all along with him….home. He is home to me – his arms are my safe harbour. We watch ‘princess Bride’ and no I had never seen the movie before (to Erin pffffttt) – it was sweet and funny (as is my Love).
We ate a wonderful dinner (Rhubarb Koresh), called it a night and went to bed in each other’s arms and woke up to begin the day again together. I can see myself doing this for the rest of my days…easily.
On my way into work this morning, again, the doubts began creeping into my mind…crowding out other thoughts. I decided to try a different tactic this time. I began to pray. As soon as I began to quietly pray to have this doubt taken from me, I rounded a bend and the moon, full, hanging low in the heavens came into view. I was in awe of the beauty and I took this as an omen and the doubt vanished. So from here on out I am going to turn these feelings over to God and if they persist I will bring them out to be examined and discussed. I am blessed to be with an incredible man who loves me despite all my faults and misgivings – who could ask for more.
Happy New Year to you all – I hope this year brings you peace, prosperity and good health.
posted by Colette at 10:48 AM
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