Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Still/ness

I am reflecting these days...too much I fear. Too much 'living in my head', sometimes drowning out the 'logic' - always seemingly impinging upon the quiet that I so often desperately need.

Some of the reflections help me tho' - reflecting upon my 'past' career - what I want to be when I grow up...etc.

Often, my ponderings rest upon my life as it is now - my love as it lives and breathes. I am lucky enough to be in a totally, mutually respectful and loving relationship. There are ups and downs - well of course there are. More and more I am struck by the strength and power of the feelings I have for Erin. He has become my rock. He is my source of strength lately. He IS my better half in some ways. He helps me to remain (somewhat) focused. He makes me laugh. He has intelligent conversations with me. He brings light to my darkness.

I've said it over and over ad nauseum but, I love this man more than I ever thought it possible to love someone. Even though lately my fears seem to surface, threatening to drown me with the constant assault to my fortress, our love gives me the reinforcement I need to get through and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

My love, I know I have been saying this to you in private - but I want to say it now in public. Thank you - for well just about everything that you do for me, for us. I love you with all my heart, mind,(lesser/not-as-significant) body, and to the depths of my very soul. I am so glad you are a part of my life every day.

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