It was the best of times...it was the worst of times

(Thank you Mr. Dickens)....trying not to focus on the worst bit.

I don't know what day it is (I just found out it's October 1st from looking at a paper). I guess I don't have to know what day it is since I am not working. I only know when the weekend comes because no one has to wake up as early....not necessarily a bad thing I suppose.

So here I am blogging from a Starbucks (shame on me)....but after this week, I felt I needed to try and go find some quiet and have a nice cup of joe. Instead, there is noise and inane conversation about how long to boil an egg - courtesy of the Dairymen's delivery woman. It is actually surprising the amount of people here on a Friday mid-morning - not just the richy-rich Mentor housewives preparing to shop either...

I came here for a breakfast sandwich, a cup of joe, and quiet to write...I guess 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

After losing my job and making myself nearly ill trying to find another it was time for a much needed break. The 'replacement kittie' thing just came true, only we have Erin's cat left to complain about it... Yes. We now have two new kittens at home. Brothers. They are like having babies with fur, sharp teeth and claws. They are energy sapping but fun - they are cute. So it's been a bit tiring having them pounce on me and chew on me. I am enjoying them - yet I still miss Spud with all my heart.

I am also having a crisis of faith. And no amount of reading or talking or anything seems to make me feel comfortable ab out all I am reading about the Catholic Church. I can not (nor do I wish to) defend it to anyone (not even to myself)....so I am going to step back because it's what I need. I still believe in God, I am still a Christian...I am just disinclined about being a Catholic right now. I feel there is a need for change (there's nothing different about that feeling for me) and I am trying to clear my head and my heart in order to move on or move away, depending...

As far as other 'disagreements" - I guess there are just some things I will never see eye-to-eye on with others - so be it. I am me, they are them and sometimes, never the twain shall meet. That's OK - everyone's entitled to how they think and feel.

Weird dreams, nightmares plague me and so I have no escape in sleep either...oh well...maybe my son has the right idea about recreational escape (no I don't mean that - but I can see why it's tempting....).....

Well enough for now I suppose - it's freezing here in Starbucks and this post is not turning out the way I want it to - probably cause I simply have too much crap churning in my head. I want to try to write but I am not sure unless I somehow lobotomize everything else out of my head how I am going to be able to write anything worthwhile...complaining about things isn't what I want to do - nor is becoming the queen of the short essay (about life). I suppose I could and should try my hand at re-working other stories for now.

Hope all is well in your universe.