Railing at the (Cold) Universe...again

...not really...but you know. Doors open, doors close. Life seems to move from crisis mode to crisis averted and back again.

For the recent answer to my prayers in terms of my own family, I'd like to say thanks (and I mean it)....

For my friend, my dear friend Mr. C - who at this moment is in the hospital and fighting to stay here - I want to rail. I want to ask...can you please leave him alone? Can you bother someone else? Can you spare him? Can you allow those of us who love him more time with him? Can you spare his family the pain?

Can you hear me?

I am doing my best to help (that sounds so f*cking lame), to pitch in, to 'be there' and it never feels like enough. I feel woefully inadequate to really help....because what I REALLY want to do - I don't have the power to do - and that is to cure his illness.