For my son...

You know what...

I don’t have the strength
for this
I don’t want to
watch you hurt yourself
I can’t

I’d like to say
I am strong
But, I am not
Not anymore
I used to be

I used to be one of those
Lioness creatures
The ones that roared
And clawed and fought
Now I roar
But it’s impotent

I know
You think
you’re all grown up
But you’re not

You’re a boy still
A boy/king
Who can’t admit
He needs his mom

You want your freedom
Soon I’ll have no say
I suppose that’s how
Life is

And I’ll be
Left with memories
Of you
As my baby

I will cling to them
But they won’t
Sustain me or
Squelch my fears

And someday
When I am gone
I hope you will
Remember me

And all the times
I held you close
Trying to keep
The world at bay