Art imitating life and hitting way too close to home

Hanging with Sid and Liam I often end up watching 'chick flicks' (no you two, I love you *hugs*, I am not complaining here).
This time was a bit more than merely a 'chick flick'. This time I got to take a trip down memory lane and have my own soul stripped bare in the process. I got to re-live the affair I had only to be made to realise (yet once again) that I did not act with the same grace of Francesca (Meryl Streep's character) in this story of a passionate love that could never really be legitimate.
I totally identified with this movie, and then I wanted to hurt myself for not being brave enough to see the writing on the walls of my own pitiful life.
Like Francesca, I totally understood how when you marry and have a family that you are 'suppose' to give up everything to them - for the better good of your husband and children. You are 'suppose' to sacrifice and 'do the right thing'. Like Robert Kincaid (Clint Eastwood's character) - I too feel that we are all hypnotised into believing in such things - that we are all suppose to live the 'American Dream' of the home, the white-picket fence and 2.7 children - but in reality we don't 'belong to each other' and we are all somehow lying to ourselves and the ones we love when we don't act on our feelings - or our gut instincts. It's all quite maddening, isn't it?
I think that hind-sight is a horrible thing sometimes and I find myself wishing I could have been as brave as Francesca and just lived in the moment of the affair and not let it hurt my family the way it did - they certainly did not deserve it - but no, I had to go and really fall in love, throw caution and common sense to the wind for a passion that was all-too-consuming and burned everything that got in it's way...and now I am left holding the ashes of that love that I thought would last forever.

3 Comments:
My dearest,
Anytime I get to spend with your guys is precious to me - you know that (I hope) - don't worry it's OK things thatmake me think, feel, cry are all OK - how do we learn without lessons. Some lessons are harder to take and leave more scars than others - that's all...
In the end it doesn't matter whether it's a movie pointing out the lessons or your friends or your own brand of wisdom as a wise teacher of mine once said...
You will be born into a body
You will have lessons
You will learn them until you get them right.
And...
You are exactly where you need to be at this moment in time.
Great post. I'm not into "chick flicks" but whether or not it falls into that category I liked the movie and I enjoyed reading what it meant to you.
I think you hit it right on the head. Everything's okay. You're perfect right this moment just the way you are. Sometimes it's good to remember to be as forgiving towards ourselves as we are towards others. I hope this doesn't sound preachy. If so, please disregard! :-)
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