Mensa Invitational

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter,
and supply a new definition.

Here are this year's winners.........

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.

9. Hipatitis: Highly infectious coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the
Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for
you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider
web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half
a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: .....................

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.