'It's (*not*) A Wonderful Life...'
(just kidding)...
You know up until a year or so back I had never even seen that movie – until C2 gave me a copy of it to watch….it’s a good movie but I fail to see what the hub-bub is all about...
I am *trying* to be somewhat festive – it’s draining – I don’t buy into this ‘spirit of the season’ crap - but there *IS* a feeling that I can almost muster up at this time of year – it has nothing to do with presents – or even the holiday – it’s more of a feeling of love – a warmth that seems to fill me up inside – I really want to give to the people I love and show them how much I appreciate them and I’ve been trying to be more cognizant of this during the rest of the year and say it more to those people in my life – the sad fact remains that most of us simply don’t say the things we need to say to our loved ones – we think buying them gifts is the way to express love and for some people perhaps that is all that’s necessary but that’s not how I want things to be in *my* life...
What is it about this time of year though??? I get X-mas cards from people that I don’t normally even talk to and even worse – I feel I have to reciprocate and send them something. I usually *do* send out cards (Solstice cards) at this time of year but this year I was just too crazy and was getting ready to be in Michigan so I just did not bother...
There’s a feeling of wanting to play ‘catch up’ too – I got a card from one of my family’s oldest friends...so since in her card she mentioned not hearing from me in a while (yes it’s a recurring theme amongst my friends) – I did the obligatory phone call – and now I am stuck going to a party at her house – I should not say 'stuck' and this won’t be a ‘family’ gathering – more like a bunch of grown ups getting together and getting drunk – she mentioned there’d be guys there after I began to lament my not being able to find anyone to date – but that’s really not a reason to go there – I want to see her because she means a lot to me..I odn't much relish the idea of her playing Yentle for me...
Saw Mr. C last night – it was really nice and I’ve really missed him (and Crunchy (the Cocker Spaniel)) a lot...I don’t know it’s hard for me (I won’t speak for him) – to see him with all those ‘feelings’ welling up inside and me trying to keep them in check …
(It seems all I do these days is keep those ‘messy/raw’ feelings from spilling over into ‘real life’ lest I scare someone – oh sure it’s easy to say things in this forum I mean ultimately who cares – well except for the git from the U.K. – but to say things about how I really ‘feel’ about liking or even loving someone…no that’s simply too frightening for words. As far as politics - well let’s just say I don’t care if I offend anyone – but when it comes to matters of my heart it's different somehow...and that’s for the best because I still feel so fragile inside and so scared...)
And so (even though I refuse to go myself)- I hope Mr. C enjoys his viewing of ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ without his ‘movie buddy’ *wink* - we will simply have to sit through the ‘Spaghetti Westerns’ of Sergio Leone (and of course Clint Eastwood) at Cinematheque, cheri...
So for those of you out there who DO celebrate may you have a glorious Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends and to all of you out there, a very bright and beautiful Solstice...
You know up until a year or so back I had never even seen that movie – until C2 gave me a copy of it to watch….it’s a good movie but I fail to see what the hub-bub is all about...
I am *trying* to be somewhat festive – it’s draining – I don’t buy into this ‘spirit of the season’ crap - but there *IS* a feeling that I can almost muster up at this time of year – it has nothing to do with presents – or even the holiday – it’s more of a feeling of love – a warmth that seems to fill me up inside – I really want to give to the people I love and show them how much I appreciate them and I’ve been trying to be more cognizant of this during the rest of the year and say it more to those people in my life – the sad fact remains that most of us simply don’t say the things we need to say to our loved ones – we think buying them gifts is the way to express love and for some people perhaps that is all that’s necessary but that’s not how I want things to be in *my* life...
What is it about this time of year though??? I get X-mas cards from people that I don’t normally even talk to and even worse – I feel I have to reciprocate and send them something. I usually *do* send out cards (Solstice cards) at this time of year but this year I was just too crazy and was getting ready to be in Michigan so I just did not bother...
There’s a feeling of wanting to play ‘catch up’ too – I got a card from one of my family’s oldest friends...so since in her card she mentioned not hearing from me in a while (yes it’s a recurring theme amongst my friends) – I did the obligatory phone call – and now I am stuck going to a party at her house – I should not say 'stuck' and this won’t be a ‘family’ gathering – more like a bunch of grown ups getting together and getting drunk – she mentioned there’d be guys there after I began to lament my not being able to find anyone to date – but that’s really not a reason to go there – I want to see her because she means a lot to me..I odn't much relish the idea of her playing Yentle for me...
Saw Mr. C last night – it was really nice and I’ve really missed him (and Crunchy (the Cocker Spaniel)) a lot...I don’t know it’s hard for me (I won’t speak for him) – to see him with all those ‘feelings’ welling up inside and me trying to keep them in check …
(It seems all I do these days is keep those ‘messy/raw’ feelings from spilling over into ‘real life’ lest I scare someone – oh sure it’s easy to say things in this forum I mean ultimately who cares – well except for the git from the U.K. – but to say things about how I really ‘feel’ about liking or even loving someone…no that’s simply too frightening for words. As far as politics - well let’s just say I don’t care if I offend anyone – but when it comes to matters of my heart it's different somehow...and that’s for the best because I still feel so fragile inside and so scared...)
And so (even though I refuse to go myself)- I hope Mr. C enjoys his viewing of ‘Memoirs of a Geisha’ without his ‘movie buddy’ *wink* - we will simply have to sit through the ‘Spaghetti Westerns’ of Sergio Leone (and of course Clint Eastwood) at Cinematheque, cheri...
So for those of you out there who DO celebrate may you have a glorious Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year. Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish friends and to all of you out there, a very bright and beautiful Solstice...
posted by Colette at 11:06 AM
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