...and you wonder why I love him....

Well don't...I don't wonder - although he is a marvel...

(An 'owner's manual' for my darling E - )

-- *Print Begin E - Tips*--
Tip 1: Be yourself.

Tip 2: Live. Don't worry about making a mistake or saying the wrong thing.
Most will be ignored as inconsequential. All will be forgiven. (see Tip 1)

Tip 3: Share of yourself. If you don't, it is nearly impossible to appreciate, enjoy, love, and cherish the results of Tip 1, otherwise known as "You".

Tip 4: Listen to your heart. (see Tip 1)

Tip 5a: Your E - is a sophisticated prototype, manufactured by "The Potter Partnership", and has not yet been finished, and may break occasionally. It can usually be fixed by touch alone.

Tip 5b: If touch alone does not fix your E - , ask. Your E - runs self-diagnostics continuously and provides copious amounts of feedback and information.

Tip 5c: If diagnostics are broken, turn off your E -'s mouth unit with the "ShutUp" command - variant commands also work. Check ear units are functioning. Reprogram verbally - refer back to Tip 1.

Tip 6: Ask. (see Tip 3) Your E - is highly customizable and performs best when it understands your needs.

Tip 7: Your E -'s construction prevents it from operating in a manner inconsistent with its programming. Continual requests outside of normal operation guidelines may cause your Erin to prematurely malfunction.
-- *Print End E - Tips*--


-- *Print Begin E - Status*--
1. E - is currently functioning properly.
2. E - is 93.8% finished running antivirus - Fatigue 12.3.7.9 found.
3. E - has 13 hours current battery life. Ensure E- is turned off at night.
-- *Print End E- Status*--


-- *Print Begin E - History*--
1. Current Owner: C - (Past ownership logs temporarily offline)
2. Current Ownership Mode: Exclusive
3. Current Self Performance Score: 96%
3a. Nominal negative feedback from current Owner.
3b. Insufficient Ask data (see tip 6) - initialization mode still active.
3c. Stressed-Out module 1.0 recently invoked.
3c1. Tip 5a guidelines successfully executed by Owner.
3c2. Stressed-Out module 1.0 partially overridden with Joy module.
3c3. Stressed-Out module 1.0 partially overridden with Gratitude module.
3c4. Stressed-Out module 1.0 partially overridden with Hope module.
3c5. Stressed-Out module 1.0 fully overridden. Memory successfully archived.
3d. Humor module 1.7 reinitialized with Owner profile data
4. Current Ownership Usage Score: 98%
4a. Recent Owner behaviors indicate Tip Manual has been processed.
4b. Recent Owner Ask (see Tip 6) commands within acceptable guidelines.
4c. Recent Owner repairs:
4c1: Stressed-Out module 1.0 successfully overridden
4c2: Nervous module 1.0 successfully removed
4c3: Emotion module 1.0 successfully installed
4c3: Emotion module 1.0 successfully upgraded to 2.0.3
4d. Current Owner Live data (see Tip 2) infected with SelfDoubt Virus 0.2 -
Threat Level: none - Quarantine/Disinfect begun
-- *Print End E- History*--


-- *Print Begin E- Recommendations*--
1. Check source of SelfDoubt Virus 0.2 to prevent reinfection.
2. Continue customization process.
3. Smile to continue archival process of past ownership logs. Obsolete logs will be automatically deleted.
-- *Print End E- Recommendations*--


Thank you for your continued use and testing of E - . If you should have need of further assistance that your E - can not handle, please contact The Potter Partnership via your existing prayerline at 1-800-DEAR-GOD. If you wish to speak to with a customer support representative in person, you may do so at your local church.