“…2nd, 3rd , 4th, or 5th childhood...
...depending on which one you’re currently on”
“Would you like to relive your childhood?” he asked me as we stood above the sledding hill in North Chagrin River Park while watching his kids roll down the hill. He then proceeded to try to get me to roll down the hill. I fought to not go down, and we wrestled like kids and then he rolled down the hill and I followed.
I am paying for it today, my neck and shoulders are sore...but yes acting like a kid has it’s advantages. Being with his kids is wonderful and I am getting used to it. It’s been years since I’ve hung out watching Disney movies and doing math homework. Yet somehow, it all feels right.
I fall in love with him over and over again as I watch him with his children; as he grabs me suddenly and kisses me passionately (which should not be a surprise at this stage in the game but yet it was - which is kind of sad). I fall in love with him as we talk, even over things we need to iron out. I fall in love with him when we do the little mundane things that go to make up a life..
I am thrown by some of the things he does as well. Wondering why - feeling a little at odds with some of decisions he makes/things he does – not knowing quite how to ‘deal’ with them (in the sense of bringing them up), without sounding bitchy or like a nag...knowing that letting go is an option but not sure if in the end it will make me resentful...I guess only time will tell.
This is all still new. I STILL have to keep pinching myself, reminding myself. I am feeling still like perhaps I should slow down a little and I think that’s a good idea – to give myself space to breathe…time to think.
But yeah I think I could spend the rest of my days looking forward to childhood...and wanting to be with him as I grow up.
“Would you like to relive your childhood?” he asked me as we stood above the sledding hill in North Chagrin River Park while watching his kids roll down the hill. He then proceeded to try to get me to roll down the hill. I fought to not go down, and we wrestled like kids and then he rolled down the hill and I followed.
I am paying for it today, my neck and shoulders are sore...but yes acting like a kid has it’s advantages. Being with his kids is wonderful and I am getting used to it. It’s been years since I’ve hung out watching Disney movies and doing math homework. Yet somehow, it all feels right.
I fall in love with him over and over again as I watch him with his children; as he grabs me suddenly and kisses me passionately (which should not be a surprise at this stage in the game but yet it was - which is kind of sad). I fall in love with him as we talk, even over things we need to iron out. I fall in love with him when we do the little mundane things that go to make up a life..
I am thrown by some of the things he does as well. Wondering why - feeling a little at odds with some of decisions he makes/things he does – not knowing quite how to ‘deal’ with them (in the sense of bringing them up), without sounding bitchy or like a nag...knowing that letting go is an option but not sure if in the end it will make me resentful...I guess only time will tell.
This is all still new. I STILL have to keep pinching myself, reminding myself. I am feeling still like perhaps I should slow down a little and I think that’s a good idea – to give myself space to breathe…time to think.
But yeah I think I could spend the rest of my days looking forward to childhood...and wanting to be with him as I grow up.
posted by Colette at 7:26 AM
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