Ramblings...streaming thoughts...

It’s fucking cold. REALLY. Without the benefit of snow...

The ex called – it’s the anniversary of his dad’s death – he was sad – needed someone to talk to and I obliged...odd choice...

People...

He sits in the coffee shop. He is sad – it emanates from him like an odour. He is a bit frayed around the edges. He needs a hair cut. He reminds me of a lost little boy and I want to reach out and smooth his furrowed brow...

Woman at the store. Hurried. Hassled. Haggard. She is trying to shop with a 3 or 4 year old who keeps trying to climb out of the cart all the while screaming for this toy or that cereal. She seems numb to the whole thing. I want to take the kid an give him a time-out or help her in some way, but I don’t know how since she seems to be on auto-pilot – or perhaps her 'zoning out' IS her dealing with this.

Persistence...

Feeling like an intruder in my own life at times. Feeling the (almost constant) need to get away. Get out of Dodge. Regroup. Rethink a lot of situations in my life. Time to step back and take stock and cut away all the debris/driftwood from my life…

Tired of not being heard. Tired of wanting/desiring but not quite knowing how to stop. Tired of being made to feel like the things I Do say are over-reactions or fevered imaginings instead of valid feelings. Tired of all the guesswork.

Needing some terra firma to stand on but fearing that it simply does not exist in the realm of relationship...

Sometimes I DO just want to stop the world and get off for a while.