'America's Dreamless Dream'

(Now listening to Beck: Loser)

Sprechen zie deutsch, baby?

(I can’t take the credit for the title of this post – it’s from the mind of my love)

Last night after playing some Frisbee (I have a bruise on my hand – don’t ask), sharing a glass of wine, a dinner of bread, grilled veggies, and grilled fish, and eating outside in 77 degree temps – Erin and I did some errands then a little later, we went for a walk down to the lake.

You know – no matter how bad things ‘seem’ to be – I am constantly reminded of how much I love this man – of how I KNOW in my heart I can spend the rest of my life doing this thing we call ‘living’ with him by my side – with us together…always.

We got to talking – LOL – I should actually just begin noting when we DON’T talk because that’s the rarity here.

‘And as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be – amen’ – we have been talking like this since we began seeing each other….

I mentioned to him that I had told the new slave (temp) in our office (the one who replaced Eeyore) that I had not watched TV in like 9 months – she was asking me if I watched ‘American Idol’ (*barf*). When I uttered my statement about TV – she looked at me like I had 3 heads...

*sighs*

Yeah and that’s the point. I am perfectly content.- if I never see another fucking TV show again – I won’t be upset.

Sure in the past I used to watch TV – but I was picky about it – it was not just mind-numbing crap. I mean sometimes it would be ‘brain candy’ but most times it was PBS or a movie.

Now my life is full. I don’t feel like I am missing something. I have my love to talk to – the children to play with, things to do, places to go, people to see, activities to participate in – a plethora of living – for life is for living – not vegging out in front of an idiot box.

So we have lost I think by being numbed night after night by the soft glow of our colour TVs – a measure of our dreams, of our ability to dream dreams, to act on those dreams, to see them come to fruition – because we are too busy being bombarded by what we should be thinking, look like, purchase and worship – the almighty ‘American Idol’ but it’s not just a TV show about some kid who wants to grow up to be a rock star – it’s a statement about what our society has become – we are a bunch of dreamless dreamers.

I want to say thanks to my fiancé for helping to give me back my dreams...I lost them somewhere in all the mindless dribble that was my last relationship and it’s nice to actually breathe the fresh air again and have new thoughts and be stimulated by the actual business of living my own life.