An anniversary...
(This month - actually the week of Thanksgiving - will mark the anniversary of when I began this blog...it's been through some upheaval and changes and I am going to re-post the most poingnant (well in my humble opinion) post form that first turbulent month - the month that simultaneously witnesed the end of a unhealthy relationship/marriage and heralded the return/birth of my inner voice - Thanksgiving was also when I was divorced and this Thanksgiving will mark the secon year I have celebrated with my love and when (I believe or so I've been told) he was contemplating asking me to marry him...)
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Leaving my home
I have stepped outside to bring boxes holding my belongings to my car. I wish I could stuff my heart into one of the boxes and just leave it for a while...I am heavy, sad, tired and frightened.
I can smell cookies baking - they smell like anise and it takes me back to my childhood for a moment and memories of my mother...
Her husband (my father) cheated on her - how did she deal with all of this I wonder? I remember her devastation and her sadness - I remember her crying herself to sleep at night, missing my dad. I ache to have her hold me and stroke my hair the way she used to and tell me it will all be ok.
I put my boxes in my car and go into the house to pack up the rest of my life
********
Leaving my home
I have stepped outside to bring boxes holding my belongings to my car. I wish I could stuff my heart into one of the boxes and just leave it for a while...I am heavy, sad, tired and frightened.
I can smell cookies baking - they smell like anise and it takes me back to my childhood for a moment and memories of my mother...
Her husband (my father) cheated on her - how did she deal with all of this I wonder? I remember her devastation and her sadness - I remember her crying herself to sleep at night, missing my dad. I ache to have her hold me and stroke my hair the way she used to and tell me it will all be ok.
I put my boxes in my car and go into the house to pack up the rest of my life
Labels: Anniversaries, Re-Posts
posted by Colette at 8:11 PM
1 Comments:
Yes my love, it was around this time that I was beginning to think about about our relationship becoming more permanent and intertwined.
A little dream here, a special moment there, and several events that were huge in my heart. You were what I was looking for. And the holidays were coming.
Oct.31, November, and December are the high times of family celebrations. So naturally my mind was focused on that, and that included you. Like everything else in our relationship, the time was filled with special moments.
In December, I knew what I had to do, what I wanted to do, and what I needed to do.
I love you Colleen.
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