Mornings...
....when you aren't used to being home...
I find myself feeling lost, listless, anxious, restless, all those things that conspire and combine to make me unable to function.
There a sense of urgency - but there's also the sense of I don't give a flying fuck anymore either. (yeah where's all the money I stashed away so I can just retire to a seedy apartment in Paris?)....this is all rather early on but since it's following so close on the heels of what happened with work I am not sure it's not connected somehow to the bullshit from there still lingering...colouring my perceptions.
On a more 'homey' note it's nice to be able to get up with Erin and the kids and hang out in the mornings...it feels 'right' - it is also a bit frustrating - just the adjustments and the trying to get everyone up in the morning, fed, and functional.
More than normal, I am not looking forward to the 'holidays' I usually never do - it's not that I dislike X-mas what-have-you - it's the way people are at this time of year, the depression that seems to hang on, the feeling of 'the big let down' (as a kid after going through your presents and still having that 'empty' feeling - it wasn't presents you were after, after all, was it???).....
So it's a mixed bag - a sort of Donna Reed meets Roseanne only way less raunchy on the Roseanne side, but no less honest.
I find myself feeling lost, listless, anxious, restless, all those things that conspire and combine to make me unable to function.
There a sense of urgency - but there's also the sense of I don't give a flying fuck anymore either. (yeah where's all the money I stashed away so I can just retire to a seedy apartment in Paris?)....this is all rather early on but since it's following so close on the heels of what happened with work I am not sure it's not connected somehow to the bullshit from there still lingering...colouring my perceptions.
On a more 'homey' note it's nice to be able to get up with Erin and the kids and hang out in the mornings...it feels 'right' - it is also a bit frustrating - just the adjustments and the trying to get everyone up in the morning, fed, and functional.
More than normal, I am not looking forward to the 'holidays' I usually never do - it's not that I dislike X-mas what-have-you - it's the way people are at this time of year, the depression that seems to hang on, the feeling of 'the big let down' (as a kid after going through your presents and still having that 'empty' feeling - it wasn't presents you were after, after all, was it???).....
So it's a mixed bag - a sort of Donna Reed meets Roseanne only way less raunchy on the Roseanne side, but no less honest.
posted by Colette at 7:35 AM
1 Comments:
If there is anything that I can do to help you feel less lost, listless, etc. Please let me know. You know I want to hear these things, and that they are not sources of inconvenience and that I do not consider you to be nagging.
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