Today...

....my heart is heavy – it sinks in my chest like a stone.

How does a mother deal with hearing that her children despise her?  Even if she has, (as I indeed have), made mistakes?  Apologies go unaccepted or mean nothing.  Is there no way to bridge the gap? To make amends?

I am trying my best to understand, to understand why this is happening.  And I just can’t…

There were things that happened between my mother and me….horrible awful things I said to her.  I know I made her heart heavy as well.  I was stupid, a teenager….and I suppose the only thing I can do is extend that kind of understanding to my own children…..

Unfortunately, the 'understanding' does not make my heart any lighter....