Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Leaving My Home (A Re-Post)

(I am not trying to dredge up old memories or wallow. This is part of my culling process and, also, I am approaching the 9th birthday of the blog and I wanted a little perspective, especially in light of what a friend is going through right now).

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Leaving my home


I have stepped outside to bring boxes holding my belongings to my car. I wish I could stuff my heart into one of the boxes and just leave it for a while...I am heavy, sad, tired and frightened.

I can smell cookies baking - they smell like anise and it takes me back to my childhood for a moment and memories of my mother...Her husband (my father) cheated on her - how did she deal with all of this I wonder? I remember her devastation and her sadness - I remember her crying herself to sleep at night, missing my dad. I ache to have her hold me and stoke my hair the way she used to and tell me it will all be ok.

I put my boxes in my car and go into the house to pack up the rest of my life.

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