Arranging a Romance
I just read a very interesting article I found at a SITE that was touted by Adam over at Organic Mechanic...
I have always been fascinated by this custom. For a long time I simply could not fathom anyone with a free will and a brain doing this. Lately though, in my ‘brush with dating life’ something about having things ‘arranged’ is strangely appealing. I mean I guess there are no Yentels for those of the non-Jewish faith but a matchmaker would be cool I suppose.
Add to the mix the fact that my friend (I blogged about her a while back and her trying to ‘force’ her boyfriend to marry her - you can find the post HERE) – has finally worn him down and is now planning her wedding. Somehow I never thought my marriage would fail and, I never thought she would end up walking down the isle with someone she had to railroad into the marriage (just goes to show what I know). I don’t mean to sound cruel or snippy (you’d have to know her and the situation) – I mean it seems he really wants to marry her now and of course I wish them every happiness – I am wondering how she is going to take me not going to her wedding – ‘cause I simply can’t do it – I am tired of going to weddings and have decided to not attend them anymore unless they are immediate family. I will send gifts – but I just can’t sit through this shit anymore.
So back to being arranged….I mean how bad could it be? Especially if you get your pick of men/women (as it seems that’s what happens in today’s modern atmosphere) – you can get married, you can not have to ‘deal’ with him if you don’t want to – hey what’s a little conjugal visit here and there? So you have some children… (they can be the loves of your life) – and you are pretty much left alone. Sounds like a marriage to me…
If you begin to really think about the way this works, a lot of thought goes into these arrangements – at least in the Indian/Eastern cultures – I mean there has to be a compatibility of Zodiac signs and of course you have to come from pretty much the same ‘class’ of people and while I abhor the caste system – let’s face it – there are a lot of problems when you marry someone who is richer than you or seems to have better breeding as it were (I am not suggesting this is right or wrong but it’s out there) – so perhaps in a way this isn’t such a bad deal – and you don’t have to pay for some ineffectual dating service, or to have 30-dates in one night, or have to sift through a bunch of losers on the personal ads.
*sigh*
I am really sick of the trappings of love and romance (can you tell?). That monastery life is looking better and better.
I have always been fascinated by this custom. For a long time I simply could not fathom anyone with a free will and a brain doing this. Lately though, in my ‘brush with dating life’ something about having things ‘arranged’ is strangely appealing. I mean I guess there are no Yentels for those of the non-Jewish faith but a matchmaker would be cool I suppose.
Add to the mix the fact that my friend (I blogged about her a while back and her trying to ‘force’ her boyfriend to marry her - you can find the post HERE) – has finally worn him down and is now planning her wedding. Somehow I never thought my marriage would fail and, I never thought she would end up walking down the isle with someone she had to railroad into the marriage (just goes to show what I know). I don’t mean to sound cruel or snippy (you’d have to know her and the situation) – I mean it seems he really wants to marry her now and of course I wish them every happiness – I am wondering how she is going to take me not going to her wedding – ‘cause I simply can’t do it – I am tired of going to weddings and have decided to not attend them anymore unless they are immediate family. I will send gifts – but I just can’t sit through this shit anymore.
So back to being arranged….I mean how bad could it be? Especially if you get your pick of men/women (as it seems that’s what happens in today’s modern atmosphere) – you can get married, you can not have to ‘deal’ with him if you don’t want to – hey what’s a little conjugal visit here and there? So you have some children… (they can be the loves of your life) – and you are pretty much left alone. Sounds like a marriage to me…
If you begin to really think about the way this works, a lot of thought goes into these arrangements – at least in the Indian/Eastern cultures – I mean there has to be a compatibility of Zodiac signs and of course you have to come from pretty much the same ‘class’ of people and while I abhor the caste system – let’s face it – there are a lot of problems when you marry someone who is richer than you or seems to have better breeding as it were (I am not suggesting this is right or wrong but it’s out there) – so perhaps in a way this isn’t such a bad deal – and you don’t have to pay for some ineffectual dating service, or to have 30-dates in one night, or have to sift through a bunch of losers on the personal ads.
*sigh*
I am really sick of the trappings of love and romance (can you tell?). That monastery life is looking better and better.
posted by Colette at 4:20 PM
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