A tribute....
My ex called me last night and left me a msg that one of our friends ‘Daiv’ had called him….it seems ‘Daiv’s’ dad is about to lose his fight with Alzheimer’s…
My heart goes out to this wonderful man and his suffering father and the rest of his family. It’s hard to lose a parent…but I think it’s even harder to lose a parent in this way…they just seem to slip into a nether world and you can’t get through to them and they don’t remember you, they just aren’t ‘there’ anymore; they just aren’t ‘them’ anymore either – it’s got to be gut-wrenching.
Years ago – when I was first seeing my ex – he used to tell ‘stories’ about Daiv. Funny, wonderful stories. Daiv seemed to be something that legends were made of….
I heard about his incredible sense of humour, his intelligence, his unassuming nature and mainly that ‘Daiv wasn’t drawn to scale’ – I had no idea what this meant until I met ‘Daiv’…
We went to pick him up at the airport for his visit to Cleveland. Daiv had to be about 6’ 9” tall and indeed, the only way to fully describe Daiv, was to say he did not seem to be drawn to scale. He just didn’t seem to fit into his body. But he moved with grace and he animated every bit of his frame. He was sharp and witty and had quite a few of what I will fondly call ‘Daiv-isms’.
Because of Daiv’s visit we of course threw a party. We had a bunch of friends over and they too were very taken with Daiv. Over the years that my ex and I were together, Daiv would come out from time to time for visits. It was always a cause for celebration.
I remember once when we were all sitting around drinking, one of my cats (Penelope), walked into the room. In a voice that sounded just like Billy Bob Thorton from ‘Slingblade’, Daiv said: “Mmmmm… some folks calls it a cat, I calls it a slingblade.” We were all in hysterics – to this day we laugh about this to the point of tears.
Another time Daiv and my ex’s other buddy from his college days were visiting and we had all gone down to the ‘Flats’ (a popular night club area around the Cuyahoga river) - to party. We took a cab home and as we got out of the cab and began to walk home I looked up into the sky – it was a beautiful summer night and the moon was round and full and so bright. I said: ‘Hey guys, look at the moon’ – to which Daiv responded ‘Why? Is it doing tricks?’
We all love you Daiv – you have brought a lot of joy to my life and others’ as well, just by our knowing you. It is a tribute to your father that you’ve grown into (well not quite apparently, since you are not drawn to scale *wink*) the man you are today. I hope you know we are all thinking of you and here for you as you go through this with your family.
If you need anything….all you have to do is call.
For those of you out there who want to help others with this devastating, debilitating disease (and their families); and maybe help find a cure – for the generations to come (including ourselves) – who might be facing this one day;
Go to: The Alzheimer's Foundation of America
My heart goes out to this wonderful man and his suffering father and the rest of his family. It’s hard to lose a parent…but I think it’s even harder to lose a parent in this way…they just seem to slip into a nether world and you can’t get through to them and they don’t remember you, they just aren’t ‘there’ anymore; they just aren’t ‘them’ anymore either – it’s got to be gut-wrenching.
Years ago – when I was first seeing my ex – he used to tell ‘stories’ about Daiv. Funny, wonderful stories. Daiv seemed to be something that legends were made of….
I heard about his incredible sense of humour, his intelligence, his unassuming nature and mainly that ‘Daiv wasn’t drawn to scale’ – I had no idea what this meant until I met ‘Daiv’…
We went to pick him up at the airport for his visit to Cleveland. Daiv had to be about 6’ 9” tall and indeed, the only way to fully describe Daiv, was to say he did not seem to be drawn to scale. He just didn’t seem to fit into his body. But he moved with grace and he animated every bit of his frame. He was sharp and witty and had quite a few of what I will fondly call ‘Daiv-isms’.
Because of Daiv’s visit we of course threw a party. We had a bunch of friends over and they too were very taken with Daiv. Over the years that my ex and I were together, Daiv would come out from time to time for visits. It was always a cause for celebration.
I remember once when we were all sitting around drinking, one of my cats (Penelope), walked into the room. In a voice that sounded just like Billy Bob Thorton from ‘Slingblade’, Daiv said: “Mmmmm… some folks calls it a cat, I calls it a slingblade.” We were all in hysterics – to this day we laugh about this to the point of tears.
Another time Daiv and my ex’s other buddy from his college days were visiting and we had all gone down to the ‘Flats’ (a popular night club area around the Cuyahoga river) - to party. We took a cab home and as we got out of the cab and began to walk home I looked up into the sky – it was a beautiful summer night and the moon was round and full and so bright. I said: ‘Hey guys, look at the moon’ – to which Daiv responded ‘Why? Is it doing tricks?’
We all love you Daiv – you have brought a lot of joy to my life and others’ as well, just by our knowing you. It is a tribute to your father that you’ve grown into (well not quite apparently, since you are not drawn to scale *wink*) the man you are today. I hope you know we are all thinking of you and here for you as you go through this with your family.
If you need anything….all you have to do is call.
For those of you out there who want to help others with this devastating, debilitating disease (and their families); and maybe help find a cure – for the generations to come (including ourselves) – who might be facing this one day;
Go to: The Alzheimer's Foundation of America
posted by Colette at 9:36 AM
3 Comments:
maybe humans are not yet adapted for long years (since science had prolonged human lives). maybe thats why we get a lot of cancers and other abnormalities. im babbling again. pardonnez-moi ..
My lovely grandmother had dimentia for the last several years of her life. It was so hard. So much of her slipped slowly away from us, as if a thief was stealing her away right in front of our eyes.
Love and light to your friend Colette.
I have worked with Alzheimer's patients, and if they are allowed to live in the time they are in, in whatever reality they inhabit, they tend to be fairly happy. Families who enter their world, and do not insist on them coming out to theirs, also do better.
We all acquire our lives, and then drop everything on the road, this is life, and we wind up as we came in. Beautiful and sad, but I would not refuse the chocolate just because it will soon be gone.
Check out Last Lists of My Mad Mother by Julie Jensen. My best to Daiv.
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