I really have to do something about this
You know - I really have to take down those personal ads I have on the various 'match-up' websites.
They used to be fun to use every once in a while as fodder for this blog - but now it's just down right annoying.
I've complained about the 'issues' with this several times as you all know. You've read my rants on this subject.
Seriously though....I have to wonder (at myself for using these services) - but mainly at the 'men' using them as well.
I get my fair share of people writing to me. When they seem to be 'not my cup of tea' I usually tell htem 'Thanks but no thanks'. Sometimes one or two (every couple of months), intrigues me enough to begin a 'conversation'. Usually through e-mail because I am not giving my cell number to just anyone.
The 'ones' that intrigue me are always (or always seem to be)intelligent and successful (or at least they claim to be accomplished in their lives). However, I find that once we begin writing back and forth - they get really 'busy'. Now mind you, there is nothing in the letters we've passed back and forth by that time to indicate irritation or dis-interest on either parties' part - or at least not from what *I* am being told by them. Further, I UNDERSTAND being busy - I really do....but, why the fuck would you write to someone and want to get to know them if all of a sudden you find yourself too busy to keep up with the process. (And we wonder why we remain single?)
Not too long ago, Oprah (whom I really don't watch) - had a show on about a gentleman (Greg Behrendt - who is a former writer from 'Sex and the City'), who wrote a book telling women to stop dealing with men like this.
It's called: "He's Just Not That Into You" - it's really got a lot of insight into this shit.
But what I don't get is that - I mean I have not even gotten to the dating part with these people yet...(OK some of them I have). I just don't get it...I try to keep my e-mails, fun, interesting and light - at the same time though - I want to get to know these men because that's what it's about, right? Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree here. I am not the type to throw caution to the wind by just meeting ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. But perhaps I need to stop the banter back and forth too and just bite the bullet? I don't know...
The latest e-mail I sent to a too-busy 'attorney' who claimed that the website told him we were 100% compatible; and then he expected me to 'pass' his picture test (without bothering to send me a picture of his 51-year-old stuffed-shirt self) - was basically stating(paraphrasing here): "I don't care what a web-site says about us being compatible...I don't appreciate you expecting me to be subjected to some arbitrary 'test' - nor do I appreciate you writing to me and then 'brushing me off' due to your 'really busy' life and then what? I am suppose to wait around until you get less busy? Um no. My life is just as hectic as yours and my time is just as valuable as yours. I am still interested, I would have gladly given you a way to call me (once of course you sent me YOUR picture - so I YOU oculd pass MY test), but now I guess I am just not sure...I mean if you are too busy to even jot a quick note, why then are you even bothering to 'pursue' dating someone? Just curious..."
I know this seems harsh, makes me out as some kind of bitch etc. Not that I care.
Seriously. If you want to make it work with someone, you will. If you are THAT interested in dating YOU WILL MAKE THE TIME. Won't you??? Or am I missing something here? Is there something wrong with honesty? How about down right excuses (i.e. 'I've met someone else', 'You just aren't my type', 'Thanks but no thanks' etc) - I mean say something....
Again - perhaps it's time to meet men the 'old-fashioned' way - bars, going to parties (unless you turn your ankle *laughs*), functions, being introduced. But some of the 'old fashioned' ways are all that much better either. Must be me...
How pathetic is all of this?
They used to be fun to use every once in a while as fodder for this blog - but now it's just down right annoying.
I've complained about the 'issues' with this several times as you all know. You've read my rants on this subject.
Seriously though....I have to wonder (at myself for using these services) - but mainly at the 'men' using them as well.
I get my fair share of people writing to me. When they seem to be 'not my cup of tea' I usually tell htem 'Thanks but no thanks'. Sometimes one or two (every couple of months), intrigues me enough to begin a 'conversation'. Usually through e-mail because I am not giving my cell number to just anyone.
The 'ones' that intrigue me are always (or always seem to be)intelligent and successful (or at least they claim to be accomplished in their lives). However, I find that once we begin writing back and forth - they get really 'busy'. Now mind you, there is nothing in the letters we've passed back and forth by that time to indicate irritation or dis-interest on either parties' part - or at least not from what *I* am being told by them. Further, I UNDERSTAND being busy - I really do....but, why the fuck would you write to someone and want to get to know them if all of a sudden you find yourself too busy to keep up with the process. (And we wonder why we remain single?)
Not too long ago, Oprah (whom I really don't watch) - had a show on about a gentleman (Greg Behrendt - who is a former writer from 'Sex and the City'), who wrote a book telling women to stop dealing with men like this.
It's called: "He's Just Not That Into You" - it's really got a lot of insight into this shit.
But what I don't get is that - I mean I have not even gotten to the dating part with these people yet...(OK some of them I have). I just don't get it...I try to keep my e-mails, fun, interesting and light - at the same time though - I want to get to know these men because that's what it's about, right? Perhaps I am barking up the wrong tree here. I am not the type to throw caution to the wind by just meeting ANYONE, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. But perhaps I need to stop the banter back and forth too and just bite the bullet? I don't know...
The latest e-mail I sent to a too-busy 'attorney' who claimed that the website told him we were 100% compatible; and then he expected me to 'pass' his picture test (without bothering to send me a picture of his 51-year-old stuffed-shirt self) - was basically stating(paraphrasing here): "I don't care what a web-site says about us being compatible...I don't appreciate you expecting me to be subjected to some arbitrary 'test' - nor do I appreciate you writing to me and then 'brushing me off' due to your 'really busy' life and then what? I am suppose to wait around until you get less busy? Um no. My life is just as hectic as yours and my time is just as valuable as yours. I am still interested, I would have gladly given you a way to call me (once of course you sent me YOUR picture - so I YOU oculd pass MY test), but now I guess I am just not sure...I mean if you are too busy to even jot a quick note, why then are you even bothering to 'pursue' dating someone? Just curious..."
I know this seems harsh, makes me out as some kind of bitch etc. Not that I care.
Seriously. If you want to make it work with someone, you will. If you are THAT interested in dating YOU WILL MAKE THE TIME. Won't you??? Or am I missing something here? Is there something wrong with honesty? How about down right excuses (i.e. 'I've met someone else', 'You just aren't my type', 'Thanks but no thanks' etc) - I mean say something....
Again - perhaps it's time to meet men the 'old-fashioned' way - bars, going to parties (unless you turn your ankle *laughs*), functions, being introduced. But some of the 'old fashioned' ways are all that much better either. Must be me...
How pathetic is all of this?
posted by Colette at 9:04 AM
1 Comments:
> He's Just Not That Into You" - it's really got a lot of insight into this shit.
[max] main reason why i broke up early this year .. i felt i was dispensible, taken for granted. so i came to the same conclusion - hes just not into me. :o)
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