Give me summer
It’s gloomy here and all I want is a week of summer – to lift my mood a bit – or just feel the warmth of the sun beating down on me. I could use some heat. But the lushness of the greenness as I drive through the woods and tree-lined streets is soothing all the same...
I think, way too much. Just random thoughts flitting through like gnats. I’ll notice something like the way somebody is dressed or how they talk to their kids and it causes a minor annoyance in my head...
I’ll get on an elevator at work and I will see women and the thoughts that flicker through my mind aren’t kind; like ‘Who let you out of the house dressed that way’; or ‘Women who wear sensible shoes are frightening, smart, but frightening – but then so are women who wear those tiny shoes trying to squeeze the life out of their feet…’ – and on it goes… I am not trying to be a reporter on the world of the victims of fashion but all the same some of the stuff I see wears thin – I try to be softer, kinder and outwardly I try to behave in the way I’d want people to treat me – inwardly though I am just irritated. Stupidity drives me nuts. Therefore I am driven nuts a lot of the time.
Maybe it’s the scenery and I need new digs. Maybe it’s my life and I need a new one of those too. Maybe I am just destined to be dissatisfied with everything around me...I don’t know. I am irritated with myself as well.
Summer can’t get here fast enough. Where I will promise myself a day of lounging at the beach (especially now that I am suppose to get sun exposure *smirk*) of course my fair skin will turn the colour of an angry lobster if I stay out there for too long. But the idea of warm sand, waves crashing into the shore, and a clear blue sky just seem to be the balm I need right now. Not sure what’s going to be required by me AFTER that – perhaps a trip by myself to the mountains or out to the west coast...*shrugs* who knows. Wanderlust I guess. It would be nice to share this with another person (of the opposite sex) – but I don’t see that happening either. Maybe I am not trying hard enough – or worse – I am trying too hard, I am too picky and I am still too fresh from the kill of my own heart to be able to give it away just yet – yes we’ve gone over this before – I just don’t know when it’s all going to release me. Not sure if it ever will happen. Not sure if when it does I will be able to act. Just floating through life and hoping something will come along to snap me out of this…whatever THIS is...
And so life goes on when you are waiting for a Prince to come and rescue you (not that I *need* rescuing and especially when I don't buy into those stupid/vapid faerie tales any longer) - still you want something to break up the monotony of your life...
I think, way too much. Just random thoughts flitting through like gnats. I’ll notice something like the way somebody is dressed or how they talk to their kids and it causes a minor annoyance in my head...
I’ll get on an elevator at work and I will see women and the thoughts that flicker through my mind aren’t kind; like ‘Who let you out of the house dressed that way’; or ‘Women who wear sensible shoes are frightening, smart, but frightening – but then so are women who wear those tiny shoes trying to squeeze the life out of their feet…’ – and on it goes… I am not trying to be a reporter on the world of the victims of fashion but all the same some of the stuff I see wears thin – I try to be softer, kinder and outwardly I try to behave in the way I’d want people to treat me – inwardly though I am just irritated. Stupidity drives me nuts. Therefore I am driven nuts a lot of the time.
Maybe it’s the scenery and I need new digs. Maybe it’s my life and I need a new one of those too. Maybe I am just destined to be dissatisfied with everything around me...I don’t know. I am irritated with myself as well.
Summer can’t get here fast enough. Where I will promise myself a day of lounging at the beach (especially now that I am suppose to get sun exposure *smirk*) of course my fair skin will turn the colour of an angry lobster if I stay out there for too long. But the idea of warm sand, waves crashing into the shore, and a clear blue sky just seem to be the balm I need right now. Not sure what’s going to be required by me AFTER that – perhaps a trip by myself to the mountains or out to the west coast...*shrugs* who knows. Wanderlust I guess. It would be nice to share this with another person (of the opposite sex) – but I don’t see that happening either. Maybe I am not trying hard enough – or worse – I am trying too hard, I am too picky and I am still too fresh from the kill of my own heart to be able to give it away just yet – yes we’ve gone over this before – I just don’t know when it’s all going to release me. Not sure if it ever will happen. Not sure if when it does I will be able to act. Just floating through life and hoping something will come along to snap me out of this…whatever THIS is...
And so life goes on when you are waiting for a Prince to come and rescue you (not that I *need* rescuing and especially when I don't buy into those stupid/vapid faerie tales any longer) - still you want something to break up the monotony of your life...
posted by Colette at 1:27 PM
4 Comments:
Think of it as wanting a prince to come along because you have a huge bottle of armor polish and would like to share it with someone :-)
I can also relate very much to your anger at the stupidity of others. Sometimes I step back and remind myself that my irritation is because it's all old under the sun to me. I've been there and done that so many times it's scary. My "baggage" is a steamer trunk and there are so many stickers on it from where I'be been that it looks wallpapered!
Sometimes the only solution to the irritation is exploring--finding new places, walking in places I've never been. And sometimes when you do that, you never know what sorts of adventures will cross your path.
these also work for some people
1. ask friends to set you up
2. internet dating
*hugs* to all of you.
sxxyd - do they make THOSE shoes - ah the search for the ever elusive sexy shoe that doesn't hurt ones feet. LOL
Tish - you are so right - I know part of this is just my frustration coming out - I keep thinking that 'eventually' - I will meet a person I can tolerate long enough to be vulnerable to/with. I keep meaning to get out but I don't know what stops me (busy-ness and a fledgling business are part of it)- but hope srpings eternal and all that good crap....
Max - as far as getting friends to 'fix me up' and the 'oh-so-friggin-fun' Internet dating you refer to - you need to go back and read some of my past posts - all of those have failed miserably - perhaps you should move to the States my darling (just kidding).
Continue to just say no to "fix-ups".
When you find sexy comfortable shoes let me know. I am always on the prowl (and ready to open my wallet) for this elusive gem.
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