Friday, September 30, 2005

And I will always feel this way...

I had written a piece about the shows I had seen recently on PBS - but forgot to e-mail it to myself so it will have to wait until another time...

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Tonight I was driving home - I'd been suffering all day with a migraine - barely making it through work - I gave up after just 1/2 a day and left. I don't know where this headache came from (change of weather, hormones), but it really put a dent in my day. When I left work, it was gorgeous out and I decided to run some errands and then grabbed a bite to eat.

By the time I was making my way home, the sun was getting ready to set and although I don't usually enjoy driving (that is unless I am driving a really nice machine), it was just gorgeous out and the sun had everything a-glow and I was listening to the soundtrack from 'Practical Magic' and the song was one of my favourites:

Crystal - by Stevie Nicks

Do you always trust your first initial feeling
Special knowledge holds truth bears believing
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea

How the faces of love have changed turning
the pages
And I have changed oh, but you...you remain
ageless
I turned around
And the water was closing all around
Like a glove
Like the love that had finally, finally found me
Then I knew
In the crystalline knowledge of you
Drove me thru the mountains
Thru the crystal-like clear water fountain
Drove me like a magnet
To the sea


Out of the corner of my eye I could see a VW Bus and a really cute younger guy driving and sitting alongside of him was his yellow Labrador. And just for one brief moment I was filled with such a feeling of happiness and power (don't ask me why on the power thing but it was there and it was a beautiful feeling, not harsh or mean-spirited - more of a rejoicing).

I began to realise that I don't need all this dating crap anymore - that I am an attractive, powerful womyn (no that is not a spelling error) - that I have a power in me and a knowledge of love and passion and magic that goes beyond all this tiresome crap on the Internet and even out in what passes these days for the 'real' world; And that nothing, not a broken marriage, not a dip-shit who did not appreciate me for what I was, not these idiots out there, not the people I am forced to deal with; not even the moments of doubt and sadness that I've had and will surely have again - can take my true nature away from me. And I knew in that moment that I will always be and feel this way - deep down inside where it counts. Thank Goddess.

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