...and so
The only 'taker' so far to 'guest blog' has been Liam...
I love Liam - he is truly a brother to me. He is family. He always will be.
I am not expecting anyone to do what I do here. I am so totally flattered that C2 was flattered by me asking, that Liam said his writing was not as good as mine (or some such shit and it is shit my dear, you're a great writer - I love the way you write).
I am just looking for people to 'man the fort'...
And it's not that I don't want to write - it's just my mind's a jumble and I can't think straight and I fear it's going to be nothing more than posting links; flat, dull, subpar ugh!
My heart feels like it's breaking - the fragility of my spirit has grown to new proportions and I feel like if there is one more major issue(s) in my life, it's going to land me in a rubber room or medicated and I want neither. (Oh and by the way that crap about God not giving you a cross too big to bear is a bunch of well....crap!).
I hurt, I need support. I am sick and tired of hearing my ex (who is also the father of these kids), hold his hand up like saying 'talk to the hand' - I mean he helped raise them and so now I suppose we need to leave them to their own devices and to some extent that's OK...I get it...but I can't help but feel that especially now they need our support and help. Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems....
Last night I was asked by a good friend Danny (well *I* consider him a good friend), why I didn't just 'stop posting for a while....
Perhaps my answer has more to do with my own ego/sense of self that's become tied in some way to this forum. I explained that to me in essence I'd be letting this thing die and I don't want to do that. Further the point of asking others to help is to 'shake things up a bit'; Lastly, and more importantly I'd feel like I was just phoning it in, just posting links and to me that not what this has become. Oh sure, it's fun to 'share' things with you guys - I love doing that, but I don't even know if that matters so much or why ANYONE reads this blog....maybe it's a way for me to 'file' interesting things away for my later perusal.
Yet, something in me does want to keep writing but I guess I am just not willing to compromise my own 'integrity' if that's what you could even call it - what I do here that is.
We shall see. I am going to mull it over more this weekend and see how I feel and if it's still the same, then Liam will do this and I will try to twist Mr. C's arm and get him to 'pitch in' too.
I love Liam - he is truly a brother to me. He is family. He always will be.
I am not expecting anyone to do what I do here. I am so totally flattered that C2 was flattered by me asking, that Liam said his writing was not as good as mine (or some such shit and it is shit my dear, you're a great writer - I love the way you write).
I am just looking for people to 'man the fort'...
And it's not that I don't want to write - it's just my mind's a jumble and I can't think straight and I fear it's going to be nothing more than posting links; flat, dull, subpar ugh!
My heart feels like it's breaking - the fragility of my spirit has grown to new proportions and I feel like if there is one more major issue(s) in my life, it's going to land me in a rubber room or medicated and I want neither. (Oh and by the way that crap about God not giving you a cross too big to bear is a bunch of well....crap!).
I hurt, I need support. I am sick and tired of hearing my ex (who is also the father of these kids), hold his hand up like saying 'talk to the hand' - I mean he helped raise them and so now I suppose we need to leave them to their own devices and to some extent that's OK...I get it...but I can't help but feel that especially now they need our support and help. Little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems....
Last night I was asked by a good friend Danny (well *I* consider him a good friend), why I didn't just 'stop posting for a while....
Perhaps my answer has more to do with my own ego/sense of self that's become tied in some way to this forum. I explained that to me in essence I'd be letting this thing die and I don't want to do that. Further the point of asking others to help is to 'shake things up a bit'; Lastly, and more importantly I'd feel like I was just phoning it in, just posting links and to me that not what this has become. Oh sure, it's fun to 'share' things with you guys - I love doing that, but I don't even know if that matters so much or why ANYONE reads this blog....maybe it's a way for me to 'file' interesting things away for my later perusal.
Yet, something in me does want to keep writing but I guess I am just not willing to compromise my own 'integrity' if that's what you could even call it - what I do here that is.
We shall see. I am going to mull it over more this weekend and see how I feel and if it's still the same, then Liam will do this and I will try to twist Mr. C's arm and get him to 'pitch in' too.
posted by Colette at 11:59 AM
1 Comments:
Colette,
I'm a total stranger to you, but if you would like an occasional contribution from the southern plains, I'll be glad to help.
Mr. Lynn Green
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