Rant # (OK who out there really IS counting?)

I grow increasingly weary of people and their ‘agendas’ or lack thereof – I know this sound contradictory….

At work, within my circle of friends, in my family, even with strangers – it all gets so old.

I have people at work who are passive-aggressive nitwits. They hem and haw, they wring their hands they can figure out what they are doing and when they latch onto someone competent all of a sudden their work load suddenly becomes that persons work load. I swear if I get one more thing handed to me to do I am going to implode. I am surrounded by people who can’t figure out how to use their computers, how to answer phones (or questions), how to listen to a suggestion/solution and then act upon it – everything has to be hours of endless meetings hemming and hawing, wringing hands, nothing accomplished. It can be oh so draining.

Family and friends is another country heard from. I have many close dear friends/family (this is directed to none of you in particular – so don’t ask – however think ‘ex-husband’ as a big part of this one) and for the most part, I adore them (DO NOT INSERT EX HUSBAND HERE). I listen to their stories and sometimes I just want to shake them and say WTF? They complain and they whine and yet they just SIT THERE! They don’t do anything. It’s like they are trapped – and perhaps they are – but if they took even 1/3 of the energy they use to complain about their lot in life and put it towards finding a solution – maybe things would be better? Yet they settle into their lives – passengers along for the ride - no momentum. That is not to say that sometimes you should not just sit back and relax – I don’t necessarily recommend living in reactionary mode – however if you are complaining/whining about things then do something to change them – whether it’s your job, your politics, your relationship – JUST DO IT! (Like the Nike commercial!).

This next comment has to do mainly with the fairer sex. I blame myself totally for becoming somewhat of a turn coat here. I know also that making blanket statements is bad, and that everyone should be viewed individually – but what I see going on in our society is really insidious. I am referring to what seems to be without end – the ongoing incessant war between the sexes. For the longest time, I would always side with women no matter what. I have strong feminist leanings. I always blamed the guy. Guilty as charged. I’ve changed. What I see happening here is frightening to me – instead of men and women working to become closer to each other, and trying to work on what makes us similar we seem to be focused on the gulfs that lie between us – we seem to be growing further apart. And I am not saying things need to be some happy-sunshine-up-your-ass-Oprah-Winfrey (Goddess help me)-moment UGH! But there’s something wrong when all the advances made by the women’s movement of the 60s is now coming back to bite us all in the arses. Women are given so much opportunity to grow and become self-actualised – more than their grand or great-grand-mothers ever dreamed of. What I see instead is constant in-fighting between women, between women and men. I see idol worship coming in the form of Brittany Spears, Jessica Simpson, Madonna) – I see a de-emphasis on education, cultural enlightenment. I find most young women to be vapid, sheep-like creatures that seem to not possess spines – if they got any more spineless they’d look like jelly-fish. Again I am not trying to make blanket statements here – these are merely *my* observations. My daughter’s friends were plagued with eating disorders, ‘cutting’ themselves and then the usual teen scourge of drug use, unwanted pregnancies, and low self-esteem. And yes, perhaps the new problems facing young women are simply the way it would have evolved anyway – but I just find that sort of hard to believe. Is this what we have handed our daughters in the way of people we hope they will pattern their lives after? Young women that weigh next to nothing, who’s only claim to fame is being a pop-star, a spoiled brat, a set of tits? I am not saying that when I grew up things weren’t that way but the people that were held up to me were people like Helen Keller, Margaret Sanger, Betty Friedan, Simone de Beauvoir. (I wonder how many young women today know who these women are). Sure there were ‘pop’ stars when I was growing up – but I never thought gee I want to be Carole King (although I love and admire her song-writing skills) – however I was pretty into Joan Baez because of her protest music. I am also not suggesting that young women don’t want to/should not want to) pattern themselves after their mothers – but at the time I grew up the TV shows showed us women like June Cleaver and Donna Reed – I just didn’t want to be them. Perhaps that is the curse and the blessing of each generation – to NOT want to be like their fathers/mothers….to move towards something else – but does the something else have to be so fucking empty?

Then we have the ‘man’ debacle. I never thought I would have said this – Goddess help me. I feel that we as a society are beginning to emasculate men so badly and we are causing so much confusion that the inevitable backlash from this is really beginning to cause serious problems between the genders. Again, it’s not as if there has not always been a bit of a tug-of-war going on – but I just feel it’s gotten worse. Young men seem to be grappling with things my generation never had to deal with. The divorce rate climbs every day. Men seem to be left holding the bag when it comes to reproductive issues (they don’t really get a huge say in this – they should have equal say don’t you think ladies?) – again, I never thought about this before but some people I’ve talked to have made me ‘rethink’ my stance (sort of like how I feel about the death penalty – I was always for it now I am totally against it). There’s the discrepancy in how men are made to pay out child-support/spousal support. (Please don’t come at me about dead-beat dads this is NOT what I am referring to here.) – I have friend that are personally experiencing real unfairness in the courts when it comes to dealing with these issues. Men who were good husbands and good fathers whose wives have bailed on them and now they have to pay more because they make more – this is the 21st century, right? Shouldn’t we be looking at these things and making sure we are not causing men to have to go bankrupt in order to have to support their kids? What happened to BOTH parents being equally responsible? Women who claim they want equality, claim they should be earning as much as men (and yes I know ladies we don’t and that sucks) – but still earn pretty good money are somehow suddenly helpless? Why are men expected to carry the brunt of this burden – is it just because ‘that’s the way it’s always been’? Is it because they have penises? OK well that’s just out and out stupid. We all know that, right?

I think that truly the only way out of this is to re-think what it is we want from each other - men and women – and re-think our values a bit – make sure we aren’t throwing ‘babies out with the bath water’ – I know it’s easier said than done and I know it’s not all that simplistic – but it never seems to occur to us that things don’t always have to be so complex. In the grand scheme of things, all the self-help books/Dr. Phil’s out there aren’t worth a hill of bean when in the final analysis we become our own and each others worst enemies.