Wednesday, October 11, 2006

My 'Give-A-Damn' ain't broke....

I got a chance to have lunch yesterday, with Erin – it was very nice – something we’ve never done on a weekday. Something *I* needed to do…

We talk all the time. That’s a wonderful part of our relationship. I’ve been wondering about relationships lately and what makes them work and what makes them fail. I am not ‘borrowing’ trouble – I just consider these things…ponder them.

I have to laugh when Erin begins listing my good qualities and he told me that “my ‘give-a-damn’ ain’t broke” - *laughs* how delightful….

Oh how sometimes I wish it were broke.

We talk of many things – of our lives, of our work, of our children. We laugh. We play. We seem to really enjoy each other’s company.

As we left the restaurant we stopped in front of a newspaper vending machine. We together read the latest ‘crap’ plaguing the universe as outlined in the headlines….

I winced as he described having a conversation with his son about nuclear proliferation.

Good lord. The idea that we even need to have such conversations with our kids sends chills down my spine.

I was one of those strange little kids – I brought up subjects at the dinner table that simply were not (as my mother would say) to be discussed in polite company. Did I care hell no! Still don’t. Why? I guess cause my ‘give-a-damn’ ain't’ broke. Sure I will push those buttons. But it strikes fear in my heart thinking about HAVING to have such a conversation with a 10 year old about when we might just decide to destroy the planet….

*shivers*

Yeah – everything else be damned – this IS some scary shit – the situation looms like some Godzilla-like nightmare over my psyche – insinuating itself into my heart and taking up residence – the fear is palpable and the nightmare seems to be heading towards reality. Can we all please just take a look into the face of some innocent child near each of us and decide it’s just not worth it to be at war with each other and we need to step back from the brink? Can we? Please?

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