Sunrise dreams and a blast from the past...
Today's been pretty intersting in many ways...
I call Erin to hear his voice in the morning – it’s become a habit (like he informed me yesterday – and has at other times as well- that me being around is becoming habit-forming – but I always take the negative connotation with that and I need to stop cause it’s wonderful to hear that stuff – he also talked about ‘wondering’ when I was going to change – as in would I suddenly go from being the person he’s in love with now to some crazy/angry/bitchy woman – I told him that other than being concerned about ‘the change’ that I am pretty much going to stay the way I am at this point in my life – at least I am pretty sure I am going to be this way)...
At any rate he told me of his ‘dream’: He was apparently working with Bond, James Bond as an agent and the mission was to rescue some duchess from the Nazis – I was apparently involved in this dream as a French resistance fighter. COOL – I mean that totally rocks (*giggles* I am laughing as I type this) – so we ended up ‘playing’ with this scenario today a bit in our e-mail and our phone conversation – we are such dorks for each other...geez...(Oh and I forgot to mention the 'attack-trained' skunks - yeah the Nazis sicked them on us but Erin did some sort of 'better-than-James-Bond-esque' feat that had the skunks spray their trainers ^_^ )
Then, once at work today, because I teach on Mondays I try to eat breakfast – so I went down to the cafeteria and ran into one of the female urologists here. She is one of my favourite people – she is so very cool – she has lived abroad she is I believe either Argentinean or from South America somewhere – she is a professional dancer (besides being a doctor), and her specialty is the tango – she is the most exuberant and full-of-life person I have ever met – she is older than me and she (I know this for real), has a younger lover whom she met through the tango – she is one of my heroes. Well today as she and I chatted (yes, she even talks to ‘lowly people’ like me – which is another reason I love her) while in line to buy our food, she suddenly glanced up and looked out the big picture window in the cafeteria and almost shouted: ‘Will you look at that glorious sunrise! Look at all that beauty!’ I wanted to cry and hug her at the same time. Exactly Dr.! We go through our lives and we miss all this beauty. We grumble, we complain, we don’t get it. For instance, last night as Erin and I talked I asked him what the difference was between when I wonder about things (concerning our relationship) vs when HE wonders about things and his answer was ‘I think about it in a positive way …’ He is SO right. Today hearing this doctor act like a child in WONDERMENT over something as simple as a beautiful sunrise, I realized I have to get out of this negative mindset. I have to begin to embrace the positive person I am deep down – I have to live with the hope I DO have in my life – my friend Linda often tells me I am the most hopeful person she knows cause I am willing to risk things for love – she is right I AM a positive and happy person. It’s not that things don’t ever get to me – they do – and it’s not that I don’t have my ‘dark side’ - I do – but I needn’t wallow in it – I need to live as much as possible in the glory of all the blessings that I have in my life and embrace fully the joy that permeates my everyday existence. So sure there will be moments of ranting here and there – but I think I like the kinder/gentler Colette a whole helluva lot better. She’s way more fun to be around.
*********
The blast...
It’s weird, my life, at times. Today out of nowhere one of my ex-boyfriends (someone I almost married) called me. We had not talked in like 2 years – we’ve known each other since our late teens. Why was he calling me? Just to see how I was doing – he was thrilled to hear I was dating and he filled me in on all that’s been up in his life – his son and mine are the same age and his son is going to college and I told him of the problems I was having getting my son on board and we commiserated for a while – but for the most part, the conversation was decidedly upbeat. We laughed about our respective dating horror stories and promised to stay in touch. We are strange in our connection to each other. I was JUST thinking about him the other day – wondering how he was – you know how people will just suddenly come to mind – but in my case when I do that with people they often materialise – and he did – voila. Cool and weird at the same time...
I call Erin to hear his voice in the morning – it’s become a habit (like he informed me yesterday – and has at other times as well- that me being around is becoming habit-forming – but I always take the negative connotation with that and I need to stop cause it’s wonderful to hear that stuff – he also talked about ‘wondering’ when I was going to change – as in would I suddenly go from being the person he’s in love with now to some crazy/angry/bitchy woman – I told him that other than being concerned about ‘the change’ that I am pretty much going to stay the way I am at this point in my life – at least I am pretty sure I am going to be this way)...
At any rate he told me of his ‘dream’: He was apparently working with Bond, James Bond as an agent and the mission was to rescue some duchess from the Nazis – I was apparently involved in this dream as a French resistance fighter. COOL – I mean that totally rocks (*giggles* I am laughing as I type this) – so we ended up ‘playing’ with this scenario today a bit in our e-mail and our phone conversation – we are such dorks for each other...geez...(Oh and I forgot to mention the 'attack-trained' skunks - yeah the Nazis sicked them on us but Erin did some sort of 'better-than-James-Bond-esque' feat that had the skunks spray their trainers ^_^ )
Then, once at work today, because I teach on Mondays I try to eat breakfast – so I went down to the cafeteria and ran into one of the female urologists here. She is one of my favourite people – she is so very cool – she has lived abroad she is I believe either Argentinean or from South America somewhere – she is a professional dancer (besides being a doctor), and her specialty is the tango – she is the most exuberant and full-of-life person I have ever met – she is older than me and she (I know this for real), has a younger lover whom she met through the tango – she is one of my heroes. Well today as she and I chatted (yes, she even talks to ‘lowly people’ like me – which is another reason I love her) while in line to buy our food, she suddenly glanced up and looked out the big picture window in the cafeteria and almost shouted: ‘Will you look at that glorious sunrise! Look at all that beauty!’ I wanted to cry and hug her at the same time. Exactly Dr.! We go through our lives and we miss all this beauty. We grumble, we complain, we don’t get it. For instance, last night as Erin and I talked I asked him what the difference was between when I wonder about things (concerning our relationship) vs when HE wonders about things and his answer was ‘I think about it in a positive way …’ He is SO right. Today hearing this doctor act like a child in WONDERMENT over something as simple as a beautiful sunrise, I realized I have to get out of this negative mindset. I have to begin to embrace the positive person I am deep down – I have to live with the hope I DO have in my life – my friend Linda often tells me I am the most hopeful person she knows cause I am willing to risk things for love – she is right I AM a positive and happy person. It’s not that things don’t ever get to me – they do – and it’s not that I don’t have my ‘dark side’ - I do – but I needn’t wallow in it – I need to live as much as possible in the glory of all the blessings that I have in my life and embrace fully the joy that permeates my everyday existence. So sure there will be moments of ranting here and there – but I think I like the kinder/gentler Colette a whole helluva lot better. She’s way more fun to be around.
*********
The blast...
It’s weird, my life, at times. Today out of nowhere one of my ex-boyfriends (someone I almost married) called me. We had not talked in like 2 years – we’ve known each other since our late teens. Why was he calling me? Just to see how I was doing – he was thrilled to hear I was dating and he filled me in on all that’s been up in his life – his son and mine are the same age and his son is going to college and I told him of the problems I was having getting my son on board and we commiserated for a while – but for the most part, the conversation was decidedly upbeat. We laughed about our respective dating horror stories and promised to stay in touch. We are strange in our connection to each other. I was JUST thinking about him the other day – wondering how he was – you know how people will just suddenly come to mind – but in my case when I do that with people they often materialise – and he did – voila. Cool and weird at the same time...
posted by Colette at 2:03 PM
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