'Hope springs eternal...'
It’s been a bit strange the kind of reactions I have been getting from people regarding my ‘engagement news’.
Mainly it’s been positive – yet there’s the underlying ‘you must be nuts’ (hinting at, at least), coming in the form of such comments:
‘Wow, you’ve been busy!’
‘Wow, that was soon!’
‘Um…OK...congratulations???’
And from my ex (Tony’s dad)
‘Are you fucking nuts????’
He took me to dinner last night (note to self must stop eating soon (I will NOT turn into Bridezilla, I will NOT turn into Bridezilla!) and the conversation went something like this:
Him: ‘C – you are nuts, what are you thinking?’
Me: ‘Does one always think in love?’
Him: ‘This is YOU we are talking about you over think everything. What is so special about this guy? What makes you think this is going to work this time around?’
Me: 'I don’t have all the answers. Of course there are some doubts and questions. How could there not be. Suffice it to say I KNOW this guy is different. He’s different from you, he is different from the other ex – he a good, kind, caring, wonderful man. They broke the mold when they made this guy’
Him: ‘Yeah OK now. But what about later on 5-10 years from now – are you preparing yourself for the inevitable?’
Me: ‘The inevitable?’
Him: ‘Yeah. Him dumping you for a younger woman. Or something like that...’
Me: ‘First off why do thing like that have to be inevitable? OK so you are bitter and it’s my fault, but you checked out of our marriage too you know...and I TOLD you what would happen if you kept not wanting to work on us. This is different. We talk about EVERYTHING. Don’t you think I’ve asked him these questions – hell I am driving him nuts with these doubts...’
Him: ‘Yeah but despite our history and what happened I don’t want to see you hurt or unhappy. I think you need to give yourselves a very long time BEFORE you get married at least 2 years.’
Me: ‘Look we have time this is not happening for a while. I will be careful. I PROMISE’
Him: ‘I just don’t want to have to rescue you’
Me: ‘Rescue me?!?!? Hey M?
Him: ‘Yeah?’
Me: ‘Go fuck yourself’
(*laughter*)
********
*sighs*
Yeah so it’s been a mixed bag. And yes things rest on me, fall on me, linger with me. There’s no guarantee. They won’t be asking us to sign a contact in blood on the day of our nuptials. I have fears. I have doubts. I’d be crazy not to be cautious. But cautious or not this is STILL the healthiest relationship I have ever had – and I have hope. Hope, joy and happiness trumps doubt and fear any day of the week.
Mainly it’s been positive – yet there’s the underlying ‘you must be nuts’ (hinting at, at least), coming in the form of such comments:
‘Wow, you’ve been busy!’
‘Wow, that was soon!’
‘Um…OK...congratulations???’
And from my ex (Tony’s dad)
‘Are you fucking nuts????’
He took me to dinner last night (note to self must stop eating soon (I will NOT turn into Bridezilla, I will NOT turn into Bridezilla!) and the conversation went something like this:
Him: ‘C – you are nuts, what are you thinking?’
Me: ‘Does one always think in love?’
Him: ‘This is YOU we are talking about you over think everything. What is so special about this guy? What makes you think this is going to work this time around?’
Me: 'I don’t have all the answers. Of course there are some doubts and questions. How could there not be. Suffice it to say I KNOW this guy is different. He’s different from you, he is different from the other ex – he a good, kind, caring, wonderful man. They broke the mold when they made this guy’
Him: ‘Yeah OK now. But what about later on 5-10 years from now – are you preparing yourself for the inevitable?’
Me: ‘The inevitable?’
Him: ‘Yeah. Him dumping you for a younger woman. Or something like that...’
Me: ‘First off why do thing like that have to be inevitable? OK so you are bitter and it’s my fault, but you checked out of our marriage too you know...and I TOLD you what would happen if you kept not wanting to work on us. This is different. We talk about EVERYTHING. Don’t you think I’ve asked him these questions – hell I am driving him nuts with these doubts...’
Him: ‘Yeah but despite our history and what happened I don’t want to see you hurt or unhappy. I think you need to give yourselves a very long time BEFORE you get married at least 2 years.’
Me: ‘Look we have time this is not happening for a while. I will be careful. I PROMISE’
Him: ‘I just don’t want to have to rescue you’
Me: ‘Rescue me?!?!? Hey M?
Him: ‘Yeah?’
Me: ‘Go fuck yourself’
(*laughter*)
********
*sighs*
Yeah so it’s been a mixed bag. And yes things rest on me, fall on me, linger with me. There’s no guarantee. They won’t be asking us to sign a contact in blood on the day of our nuptials. I have fears. I have doubts. I’d be crazy not to be cautious. But cautious or not this is STILL the healthiest relationship I have ever had – and I have hope. Hope, joy and happiness trumps doubt and fear any day of the week.
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