Raining on my parade...
You know…..
I don’t want to go to the negative place and I DON’T feel negativity – not in any way, shape or form.
I am in love with Erin. I plan on being his wife. I am ecstatic.
However...
I am a touch upset/concerned over certain reactions to our ‘news’ – and while I appreciate the concerns etc., for I know it is borne out of love for both of us there’s a couple of things I like to say...besides go to hell – sorry that just sort of slipped out.
The main concern seems to be two-fold – it’s about how soon this all happened and how ‘well could we possibly know each other’. OK. I will be the first to admit that this happened quickly – however I think both of us began to realise early on just how compatible we were and just how ‘connected’ we felt. Look kids, I have been ‘dating’ since I was 16 years old – that’s 30 years of ‘dating’ and being out in the trenches of romantic encounters. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart and my soul that this relationship is like no other I have ever experienced. No, we don’t’ finish each other’s sentences (I’ve always found that to be so droll) – we don’t need to – we just know each other and that’s all I can say because I don’t have words for this that you would understand.
For grins and giggles, (cause I have myself brought up the ‘how well do we really know each other, Erin’ discussion), he brought out a book of psychological ‘tests’ that gage how well one knows oneself – instead of answering the questions about ourselves – we answered them for each other – we scored over 90%.
Now, some of you might think so what? Let me enlighten you a bit. I was with my last husband for a decade…you know what – I *obviously* did not know this man from Adam – how could I have possibly known him given what ended up happening (for the sordid details begin at the beginning of this blog) – so when people say things like ‘how well can you know him/her’ I kind of want to say ‘bite me!’. How well can we really know anyone???? The answer is we can’t. There’s no magic formulae. How do you think the wife of Mr. BTK feels? How about Jeffrey Dahmer’s family? I mean how well can you really know anyone??? I am not trying to be trite or defensive – but I am sick of defending this or explaining myself to people.
Love is love – I don’t know why things have turned out this way – obviously there’s some reason. All I know is how I feel, and how I feel when I am with him – I can’t speak for him but I know Erin well enough to know that he knows himself (yeah OK so this is convoluted) – and I doubt he’d be going through any of this unless he truly loved me. So say what you will – again your concern is touching it really is...and it’s good to know I am loved and have friends who care. But I will be OK – and if not it’s on me – it will be my problem as they all are. I think I am going to be just fine, though – ask me in another couple of decades when we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary...
I don’t want to go to the negative place and I DON’T feel negativity – not in any way, shape or form.
I am in love with Erin. I plan on being his wife. I am ecstatic.
However...
I am a touch upset/concerned over certain reactions to our ‘news’ – and while I appreciate the concerns etc., for I know it is borne out of love for both of us there’s a couple of things I like to say...besides go to hell – sorry that just sort of slipped out.
The main concern seems to be two-fold – it’s about how soon this all happened and how ‘well could we possibly know each other’. OK. I will be the first to admit that this happened quickly – however I think both of us began to realise early on just how compatible we were and just how ‘connected’ we felt. Look kids, I have been ‘dating’ since I was 16 years old – that’s 30 years of ‘dating’ and being out in the trenches of romantic encounters. I am telling you from the bottom of my heart and my soul that this relationship is like no other I have ever experienced. No, we don’t’ finish each other’s sentences (I’ve always found that to be so droll) – we don’t need to – we just know each other and that’s all I can say because I don’t have words for this that you would understand.
For grins and giggles, (cause I have myself brought up the ‘how well do we really know each other, Erin’ discussion), he brought out a book of psychological ‘tests’ that gage how well one knows oneself – instead of answering the questions about ourselves – we answered them for each other – we scored over 90%.
Now, some of you might think so what? Let me enlighten you a bit. I was with my last husband for a decade…you know what – I *obviously* did not know this man from Adam – how could I have possibly known him given what ended up happening (for the sordid details begin at the beginning of this blog) – so when people say things like ‘how well can you know him/her’ I kind of want to say ‘bite me!’. How well can we really know anyone???? The answer is we can’t. There’s no magic formulae. How do you think the wife of Mr. BTK feels? How about Jeffrey Dahmer’s family? I mean how well can you really know anyone??? I am not trying to be trite or defensive – but I am sick of defending this or explaining myself to people.
Love is love – I don’t know why things have turned out this way – obviously there’s some reason. All I know is how I feel, and how I feel when I am with him – I can’t speak for him but I know Erin well enough to know that he knows himself (yeah OK so this is convoluted) – and I doubt he’d be going through any of this unless he truly loved me. So say what you will – again your concern is touching it really is...and it’s good to know I am loved and have friends who care. But I will be OK – and if not it’s on me – it will be my problem as they all are. I think I am going to be just fine, though – ask me in another couple of decades when we are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary...
posted by Colette at 10:38 AM
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