1-Year Ago, Yesterday....
I met the man of my dreams. I did not even begin to mention him on this ‘blog’ until the following month.
This weekend we did our best to try to celebrate the past year, finding each other, what we have become to each other.
Friday night was his daughter’s birthday-slumber-party. His ex wife was in attendance. To say I felt uncomfortable, like a 3rd wheel would be an understatement – once again the feeling of not belonging reared its ugly head. She sort of took over in some cases. She and I DO get along – but it’s still very weird dealing with her. Because Erin seems to get antsy he was edgy /snappish at times so it was not fun on my end all the way around until she left for the evening. Then Erin and I had fun with the girls doing a PJ fashion show, and making beaded jewelry until midnight.
The next day we got up and I made chocolate-chip pancakes with whipped cream while Erin made sausage for the girls. They all played until their parents came to pick them up. After that Erin took his kids over to the ex’s and came back bearing a beautiful lily and we went out together to spend time exploring and to enjoy a sort of early celebration of our anniversary.
We went formt he west side of town over to the east side of town – into the Cleveland Heights area where we went to a late showing of the anime movie ‘Paprika’ (intense, dream-like, disturbing and a bit hard to describe (but I will later))…..
We went ‘home’ and made love. We woke up the next morning and exchanged gifts with each other. These were gifts of more symbolic meaning for us – not things like jewelry or watches. I was a bit out of sorts and of course when I am Erin struggles – the problem is that *I* struggle with all of this. With the portent, with knowing if it’s going to work out, with all the responsibility of being a step-mom-like person, with giving up my home, my freedoms (in some ways), with the idea of being a wife again. Yet if I hold in all my fears, my doubts that’s going to end up causing us just as many problems…..
We tried going to mass but did not make it in time – we were *ahem* otherwise occupied after taking a shower together (*blushes*)…..
We had a very nice lunch out in the back yard and had a glass of wine. Afterwards, we went shopping for his daughters b-day gifts. We got home in time for the children to come back, we all had dinner together, we did some work around the house and then Erin and I retired to bed and each other’s arms.
In the end I am becoming a permanent member of this household, of this family – it’s a big adjustment – it is also the underlying joy that helps me get through my day and reminds me of the reasons we fell in love in the first place. We belong together, and to each other…completely.
Today, I believe around 10Am – will be the anniversary of him deciding to call me – we talked for hours – I am so glad he made that phone call.
I love you, Erin. Happy Anniversary my beloved.
This weekend we did our best to try to celebrate the past year, finding each other, what we have become to each other.
Friday night was his daughter’s birthday-slumber-party. His ex wife was in attendance. To say I felt uncomfortable, like a 3rd wheel would be an understatement – once again the feeling of not belonging reared its ugly head. She sort of took over in some cases. She and I DO get along – but it’s still very weird dealing with her. Because Erin seems to get antsy he was edgy /snappish at times so it was not fun on my end all the way around until she left for the evening. Then Erin and I had fun with the girls doing a PJ fashion show, and making beaded jewelry until midnight.
The next day we got up and I made chocolate-chip pancakes with whipped cream while Erin made sausage for the girls. They all played until their parents came to pick them up. After that Erin took his kids over to the ex’s and came back bearing a beautiful lily and we went out together to spend time exploring and to enjoy a sort of early celebration of our anniversary.
We went formt he west side of town over to the east side of town – into the Cleveland Heights area where we went to a late showing of the anime movie ‘Paprika’ (intense, dream-like, disturbing and a bit hard to describe (but I will later))…..
We went ‘home’ and made love. We woke up the next morning and exchanged gifts with each other. These were gifts of more symbolic meaning for us – not things like jewelry or watches. I was a bit out of sorts and of course when I am Erin struggles – the problem is that *I* struggle with all of this. With the portent, with knowing if it’s going to work out, with all the responsibility of being a step-mom-like person, with giving up my home, my freedoms (in some ways), with the idea of being a wife again. Yet if I hold in all my fears, my doubts that’s going to end up causing us just as many problems…..
We tried going to mass but did not make it in time – we were *ahem* otherwise occupied after taking a shower together (*blushes*)…..
We had a very nice lunch out in the back yard and had a glass of wine. Afterwards, we went shopping for his daughters b-day gifts. We got home in time for the children to come back, we all had dinner together, we did some work around the house and then Erin and I retired to bed and each other’s arms.
In the end I am becoming a permanent member of this household, of this family – it’s a big adjustment – it is also the underlying joy that helps me get through my day and reminds me of the reasons we fell in love in the first place. We belong together, and to each other…completely.
Today, I believe around 10Am – will be the anniversary of him deciding to call me – we talked for hours – I am so glad he made that phone call.
I love you, Erin. Happy Anniversary my beloved.
Labels: Anniversaries, Love, Relationship
posted by Colette at 7:52 AM
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