Life in 'Pleasantville'....
Musing...when aren't I musing/mulling things over...sometimes I want my brain to just stop. Sometimes it's just crammed full of so much shit I can't seem to get past the noise to think....my own fault for not practising more Yoga and so help me Vishnu that is going to change....
We've been watching a lot of movies lately. One of the recent viewings was a movie that Erin had never seen: 'Pleasantville' - great flick.
In thinking about whether or not to keep up on this blog, this movie helped me a lot. I realised that part of the reason I wanted to stop was because of censorship....which is something I despise. Yet, when you are in a relationship, sometimes you blurt things out that you don't necessarily think before uttering, or without meaning to, somehow hurt the other person's feelings. I have never been really good at 'keeping my thoughts to myself'/being tame/being a 'Stepford Wife' and it occurs to me that I don't want to start being any of that anytime soon...not that Erin makes me feel that way...it's just that I've entered 'couplehood'...there's a certain implied mind-set I suppose...I don't want to censor myself or be stifled. I don't want to hurt anyone, but how I think, how I feel is simply that, ME - not anyone else....so I guess it's a cross for me to bear if I am going to be...well....me....
We all seem to long for simpler times...but is that what we are really 'missing' from our lives? Or is it we just don't feel comfy in our own skins? Are we buying into some picture-perfect way life should be just because it's how we've been told it should be? Are we longing for things to make up for our own perceived (and very possibly misguided) ideals of what our lives must certainly be lacking? Does the Pursuit of Happiness mean throwing babies out with bathwater? What does the pursuit of the perfect life entail and is there such a thing?
I watched my mom struggle with a lot of things - not how to keep a clean house or cook a decent meal, but how my dad seemed to live his life and how that in turn impacted us as a family. I wonder if by marrying him she gave up a better life for herself. But back then, people didn't talk about such things and of course my mother's generation did something called 'stay in your marriage no matter what.' Today, the exact opposite seems to happen - we look for every escape route, things don't last and if they do they seem to settle into a routine that the word mundane simply doesn't do justice to....we become intimate strangers - we live our separate lives and try to figure out how to balance the addition of another human being into the sphere of our own existence without losing those essentials of our being. Some of us simply disappear into the other...not that for some of us it's that great of a loss - hell in some cases, it's probably an improvement. Again, it's all about that precarious balance and hoping your footing is sure so you don't tumble off that cliff into the nothingness of obscurity....
Yeah...something like that...
We've been watching a lot of movies lately. One of the recent viewings was a movie that Erin had never seen: 'Pleasantville' - great flick.
In thinking about whether or not to keep up on this blog, this movie helped me a lot. I realised that part of the reason I wanted to stop was because of censorship....which is something I despise. Yet, when you are in a relationship, sometimes you blurt things out that you don't necessarily think before uttering, or without meaning to, somehow hurt the other person's feelings. I have never been really good at 'keeping my thoughts to myself'/being tame/being a 'Stepford Wife' and it occurs to me that I don't want to start being any of that anytime soon...not that Erin makes me feel that way...it's just that I've entered 'couplehood'...there's a certain implied mind-set I suppose...I don't want to censor myself or be stifled. I don't want to hurt anyone, but how I think, how I feel is simply that, ME - not anyone else....so I guess it's a cross for me to bear if I am going to be...well....me....
We all seem to long for simpler times...but is that what we are really 'missing' from our lives? Or is it we just don't feel comfy in our own skins? Are we buying into some picture-perfect way life should be just because it's how we've been told it should be? Are we longing for things to make up for our own perceived (and very possibly misguided) ideals of what our lives must certainly be lacking? Does the Pursuit of Happiness mean throwing babies out with bathwater? What does the pursuit of the perfect life entail and is there such a thing?
I watched my mom struggle with a lot of things - not how to keep a clean house or cook a decent meal, but how my dad seemed to live his life and how that in turn impacted us as a family. I wonder if by marrying him she gave up a better life for herself. But back then, people didn't talk about such things and of course my mother's generation did something called 'stay in your marriage no matter what.' Today, the exact opposite seems to happen - we look for every escape route, things don't last and if they do they seem to settle into a routine that the word mundane simply doesn't do justice to....we become intimate strangers - we live our separate lives and try to figure out how to balance the addition of another human being into the sphere of our own existence without losing those essentials of our being. Some of us simply disappear into the other...not that for some of us it's that great of a loss - hell in some cases, it's probably an improvement. Again, it's all about that precarious balance and hoping your footing is sure so you don't tumble off that cliff into the nothingness of obscurity....
Yeah...something like that...
Labels: Life
posted by Colette at 11:08 AM
3 Comments:
For me, it's not "the way things are supposed to be". True I am a captive of a few of my ideals and desires. I'd move anywhere today, if it were not for my kids. I struggled as a kid not having many kids around with which to play. This is huge for me right now with my kids at their ages. When they are more mobile on their own, perhaps I will move - I dislike Cleveland in general.
I want a nice home and a nice yard, bot because it's the suburban thing to do, but because I'm an artist at heart (and afflicted with a certain level of OCD) and the appearances are for me and my own pleasure - I'm not really concerned with the neighbors and keeping up with the Joneses.
Yes, I would like a different pace of life. I'm tired of the continuous rush of crap at the office. I'd like to live in a society more closely matched to the ideals of 1950s style TV, where ethics matter and courtesy is the norm (I'm not overly fond of the music though). I don't want want a June Cleaver for a wife, though thank you for the pearls and apron the apron that one night. I much more prefer the Mrs Smith version (Mr & Mrs Smith) or perhaps Debra (Everybody Loves Raymond - even though I'm not overly fond of the show.)
As for censorship, I'm a writer and a thinker (or least try to be) and I certainly don't want you censoring yourself on my behalf. Obviously if you share your thoughts about me with me, I may not agree and may be hurt by it. Let's discuss things, not make assumptions, particularly false assumptions. I love you very much and want the best for us and our relationship.
Hey there,
Hope your doing well and hope your holidays are super. I love your blog entry and love that movie as well. I too have some strange connection to hte 1950's. My Ghost group feels maybe I have somone attached to me or who looks out for me from that era. But I understand what you say. I agree with your other half on his desire to have that 1950's mentality. I want respect for all people, when you leave work, it is over till another day, the layed back lifestyle. I of course love the music from that era too but thats just me. I just wanted to say, your blog entry touched my heart and am so happy your not giving up your blog. you are too important and sweet to not have your voice heard. You like the rest of us are a child of God and you are real special. I am so privledged to know you and have you and your hubby as a friend and you both are so amazing. Love, Light and Huggs to you both!
First, I'm right there with Erin about disliking Cleveland. (Sometimes I think he's my straight counterpart.) Always have, always will. I know, I know, "the grass is aways greener"... but a yearly average of 90 sunny days is NOT my idea of happy, cheery weather.
And I digress...
Censorship happens, but if we give in to it and close down, we allow it to snowball into a total dictatorship. Sure, we all say things without our minds catching up before blurting them out or have that all-too-honest moment which can cause troubles, but that's the point of blogging: it's like a diary, spilling yourself out for the masses to read (and often critique). Yet it's a freeing experience and the one means of writing what you want to say without going through a dozen channels.
Just like in Pleasantville, what we write and discuss can change the palette of thought and views for readers. It can spark the next Capote or Parks to influence society and make change happen. And that has with it some inherent risk. But safety and keeping the world monochromatic would mean a dull existence. Sure, we can bite our tongues occasionally but it's good therapy and lets other people see that they're not alone in their thoughts and troubles.
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