Cancer, my parents and my doubts about God - CNN.com
Cancer, my parents and my doubts about God - CNN.com
More on this later...it's about having a 'faith journey'...and how I can identify with this woman on a lot of levels...at any rate, it's a great article - very well written.
********
It's later...
Yeah. I posted this because on a lot of levels I identify with what is written here. There is doubt. There is doubt within the doubt.
I have faced many things in my life. I have been at the brink, at the edge and known that if I fall there is no safety net. I have stared death in the face - death won....taking away my mom. I hope she rests 'in a better place'.
There has been hopelessness and fear, love lost and not regained. There has been wonderment at 'why did I do that' and then afterwards the resignation of knowing I blew it, yet again, ruined something precious and wondering if I will ever get 'it' back...especially lately...
Yet..it's not that I don't pray, it's not that I consider myself without faith - I feel in my heart I am a very spiritual person...but, is that enough?
Lately, the people I love the most are suffering - I won't go into details but it takes my breath away, shakes me to to core and has me constantly torn between fervent prayer and railing at God ('Oh yeah big guy you wanna f*$%# with ME?!?!?!?)
It's so frightening...and it's so hard because I love these people so much...
I have been meeting with a group of women from my church getting ready for a renewal weekend and, as I listen to them tell their own faith stories about their own faith journeys, I am at once humbled and filled with admiration at their strength and resilience and most of all their love...their constant unconditional love for family and others. I am doing my best to learn the lessons I need to learn with some of these older, wiser, sisters of mine acting as my touchstone to God/dess...
********
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
More on this later...it's about having a 'faith journey'...and how I can identify with this woman on a lot of levels...at any rate, it's a great article - very well written.
********
It's later...
Yeah. I posted this because on a lot of levels I identify with what is written here. There is doubt. There is doubt within the doubt.
I have faced many things in my life. I have been at the brink, at the edge and known that if I fall there is no safety net. I have stared death in the face - death won....taking away my mom. I hope she rests 'in a better place'.
There has been hopelessness and fear, love lost and not regained. There has been wonderment at 'why did I do that' and then afterwards the resignation of knowing I blew it, yet again, ruined something precious and wondering if I will ever get 'it' back...especially lately...
Yet..it's not that I don't pray, it's not that I consider myself without faith - I feel in my heart I am a very spiritual person...but, is that enough?
Lately, the people I love the most are suffering - I won't go into details but it takes my breath away, shakes me to to core and has me constantly torn between fervent prayer and railing at God ('Oh yeah big guy you wanna f*$%# with ME?!?!?!?)
It's so frightening...and it's so hard because I love these people so much...
I have been meeting with a group of women from my church getting ready for a renewal weekend and, as I listen to them tell their own faith stories about their own faith journeys, I am at once humbled and filled with admiration at their strength and resilience and most of all their love...their constant unconditional love for family and others. I am doing my best to learn the lessons I need to learn with some of these older, wiser, sisters of mine acting as my touchstone to God/dess...
********
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Labels: Family and Life, Observations, Religion
posted by Colette at 10:24 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home