Sunday, November 27, 2016

Crossing enemy lines

(From so long ago...I can't even...)

Dangerous territory....

*HE* asks me to go to things with him, sometimes I help out. Sometimes I take him to places like the laundry or to other functions. This time he asked me on a picnic with other 'gamers' typically I'd turn him down outright - I figure they are going to be like him - but I remembered some of the people and since I AM trying to make new friends I figured I could do this and gain something.

And I did....

I ended up meeting some really cool, funny, intelligent people. More importantly, I ended up meet a couple of cute guys. And brazenly, I gave them my phone number. I NEVER do this - NEVER. But the one guy had me laughing all afternoon and the other one looked like Edward Norton ('nuff said - at least for me - I've always found this look kind of sexy) - plus there was an undeniable 'connect' between us - some electricity for sure.

So this morning, 06/25/06, much to my surpise 'Ed' calls me - I was totally floored by this...and we sort of fell into a conversation. Of course I hate things like this - I always don't feel like 'me' when I am on the phone with guys. I feel I have to fill in those 'silent' gaps. But hopefully, I didn't babble too terribly much and hopefully I will hear from him again...

Goddess sometimes I feel such the slut - I mean maybe that's what the problem is - I am not trusting my own re-awakening sexuality/or self (cause it does not boil down to sexuality entirely) enough to allow myself to BE loved (or at the very least lusted after)....

...more later...

Later...

There's like a 'rebel' growing inside of me...I am breaking all MY rules. I NEVER ever ask guys out NEVER. But the other night I DID - I out and out asked a guy out! I just sort of slipped it into the connversation as in: "Gee we should go get a glass of wine" and after talking for a bit - he said "About that glass of wine"

Score!

It's awful! It's not me - but it is becomming me (LOL becomming Colette)...to hell with polite society/manners and etiquette....

It's almost as if the idea behind the show How to get the Guy is about moving women into a more agressive approach when it comes to stuff like this. I don't like it - I don't like feeling as if it's a competition out there - but the truth is that it IS and if I have to embrace the tactics of Hugh Hefner so be it - but I am going to feel like Jekyll and Hyde the entire time - it's not really my nature to be so agressive when it comes to this stuff.

So to answer dear old Henry Higgin's question: 'Why can't a women be more like a man?' here I am Henry - give us a hug luv.

^_^

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