Fodder for the blog but not like you would think....well perhaps
I have not, as I said before, really been dating. Every now and then I still look - just to see if anyone catches my eye. It's hard because what happens as you get older is that you become picky (translated - I find myself making unfair leaps in judgement about people - it borders on cruelty) - I am ashamed of this - but man it can be really funny stuff.
OK so here's a personal ad that I stumbled across - I liked the 'look' of this guy but then I read his profile - first of all, it took him until he was 13 years old to learn how to think for himself?? Then, he claims he is 'active' but when you read the things he does - well um I don't consider this stuff all that 'active' - that is unless someone can tell me if you can really work up that much of a sweat playing Ping-Pong???
The other thing is that this guy takes himself WAY too seriously - I mean is he literally 'always causing a warm smile' to appear on the faces of his co-workers - or does he just think he is doing that? I don't mean to pick these people apart like this but I am trying to illustrate the level of frustration that I experience as I am thrust into the dating world. I want to find someone who is intellectual and spiritual but without a big sign that reads 'I am intellectual and spiritual' - this stuff just gets under your skin after a while.
Aren't there any fairly normal, smarter-that-the-average-bear - people to date anymore?
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I know what I am. It is the what that makes the who. From the time I was able to think for myself, about 13, I have thought deeply about the meaning of life. I'm not a person to accept platidudenal statements as words are not as important as the meaning behind them and hence, how you live them. I listen for that. So here are a couple simple statements. Goodness is life. The only true knowledge is that which an individual seeks for themselves inside themselves. Hence, I am looking for my mate who takes this every bit as seriously as I do. Then we have something to share with each other. I cannot be another's mind or heart for them nor is that at all pleasing to me. I am looking for that special woman of insight and spiritual depth whose strength I will recognize. My life reflects the strength I possess. At work I am always causing a warm smile or a laugh. I love being active. Ping Pong, walking in the park, but also playing chess, writing and reading. My life is...full: rich in thought and feeling. There are not many who could match it.
OK so here's a personal ad that I stumbled across - I liked the 'look' of this guy but then I read his profile - first of all, it took him until he was 13 years old to learn how to think for himself?? Then, he claims he is 'active' but when you read the things he does - well um I don't consider this stuff all that 'active' - that is unless someone can tell me if you can really work up that much of a sweat playing Ping-Pong???
The other thing is that this guy takes himself WAY too seriously - I mean is he literally 'always causing a warm smile' to appear on the faces of his co-workers - or does he just think he is doing that? I don't mean to pick these people apart like this but I am trying to illustrate the level of frustration that I experience as I am thrust into the dating world. I want to find someone who is intellectual and spiritual but without a big sign that reads 'I am intellectual and spiritual' - this stuff just gets under your skin after a while.
Aren't there any fairly normal, smarter-that-the-average-bear - people to date anymore?
***********************************************************
I know what I am. It is the what that makes the who. From the time I was able to think for myself, about 13, I have thought deeply about the meaning of life. I'm not a person to accept platidudenal statements as words are not as important as the meaning behind them and hence, how you live them. I listen for that. So here are a couple simple statements. Goodness is life. The only true knowledge is that which an individual seeks for themselves inside themselves. Hence, I am looking for my mate who takes this every bit as seriously as I do. Then we have something to share with each other. I cannot be another's mind or heart for them nor is that at all pleasing to me. I am looking for that special woman of insight and spiritual depth whose strength I will recognize. My life reflects the strength I possess. At work I am always causing a warm smile or a laugh. I love being active. Ping Pong, walking in the park, but also playing chess, writing and reading. My life is...full: rich in thought and feeling. There are not many who could match it.
2 Comments:
Yeah, it can be real tricky not to project all of our negative past baggage onto someone new. We either look for similar stuff or make it up.
If you went on a date with this guy, he might think "wow, she doesn't seem to like me very much" and unless he finds you to be the woman of his dreams, he might just withdraw and not "waste his time and energy" to get to know you. The date would end with neither of you really knowing that much more about each other; and you'd both go home assured that finding the right one is a difficult thing to do.
I'm glad you realize your pre-judgements... I just hope you can put them aside so you're ready for the right one to come along.
:-)
This is in answer to Gurustu's comment- any by the by I always LOVE his wisdom.
I am pretty sure that I have become convinced there is no 'THE ONE' out there, at least fo r me. But you know what? That's ok. What I am finding is that it IS pretty difficult to find anyone worth pursuing.
Yes I do bring along my baggage and well quite a lot of it, as you all know. But there is something else involved because they bring their baggage too - I don't meet many people who don't bring any baggage to the table of relationship. But the key is KNOWING it's YOUR baggage NOT the other person's....
I was given the advice to just wait for a while before dating. And as you say Gurustu what we tend to do is look for what we know - that is why my friend suggested I wait. I think it's good advice. I don't really want to meet anyone through the personals - I find it highly impersonal to do that - I'd rather meet them in some other way. I guess I just get lonely, sometimes...
I truly don't want to judge or misjudge anyone which is why I did not comment on or answer this guy's ad and despite my 'having fun with it' as it were - I hope he finds what he needs and what makes him happy. As for me - I am not sure I am ever going to be happy with anyone else again. I just think it's time to stop with the frivolousness of dating. It just seems so empty, such a waste of time, and right now - my time should be devoted to me and my healing - perhaps the reason it all feels so empty, so meaningless, so devoid of the 'real stuff' is that I know that I am not really 'home' in my own self/my own skin, right now.
*sigh* - I hope I am making sense commenting on your comments about my comments LOL
As ever,
Colette
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