I do the blaaaauuuugg

Yes I blog. It used to be so interesting - like a counter-part of mine who's blog I admired from afar- he was form Oslo, Norway. I admired him, mainly because he was witty, acerbic, brilliant honest and, judging from his picture, very cute...but he quite his blog because his REAL life came calling. Also because as he said it became a chore - an obligation.

So has this at times for me...and it's become a bit passe as well and irritating.

I will site one of my irritations. I don't want to get negative but I do feel the need to say something about this because well - I can't help it. I've felt this way long before this blog came into existence. If I offend people well yep you got it - too friggin' bad....so here goes.

When I first started blogging, I began putting up 'links' to other blogs, mainly those I found to be interesting. It turned out that 'some' of those blogs were done by practising Pagans. I am a Pagan-friendly blog (at least *I* think I am). So when other 'Pagans' started linking to me I began linking back. I consider it a courtesy. I'd get little comments, e-mails what have you. Then, all- of-a-fucking-sudden, they stopped linking to me. I have no idea why. Seriously I don't - in fact at one point I asked one of the 'sisters' why (off line) and I got no answer. Now frankly, for the record, I don't care. What I DO care about is high-school shenanigans. I want none of it - NONE. So I took their blogs off my blog roll, finally. Some I left up because I LIKE THEIR BLOGS. Now again I don't know what I did, whom I offended, what the hell happened...did I link to a fellow Pagan that THEY didn't like??? (How stupid is that, how childish, dare I say it - how very Pagan of them).

I am sorry but it's true. I used to practise myself. Not that any of you care - not that I care if you care or not...but wanna know what made me leave the fold? You got it - other Pagans and their attitudes. I have never seen so much in-fighting and bickering and out-and-out childishness in my entire life (that's right Virginia, not everyone acts like the Farrars, or Starhawk, or Isaac Bonewits). I was almost ashamed to say I was Pagan/Wiccan. It was nuts. When my ex and I went to get married we both wanted to be hand-fasted - do you think we could have found a Pagan group that could do it without getting involved in all their little 'wars'? Nope not at all. I think that was the final straw for me. I fly solo most of the time now and I dare say I don't consider myself Pagan anymore. But I do believe in the basic tennants, to some degree I still practice some of the ways, celebrate some of the holidays etc. My leaning is much more towards an Eastern mysticism these days with a very strong belief in Goddess/God. I refuse to believe in a God WITHOUT the female counterpart as part of my worship system. There are many other religions though that embrace this notion. Oh and don't get me wrong in the Yoga community there's all kinds of crap too - but I don't practise with those people, I don't break bread with them, I don't share a sacred trust with them.

*shakes head sadly* it's a shame, ya know.

****

OK now onto to another subject. Remember the 'doctor' I was seeing? Well I wrote him recently because he had been concerned about my daughter and knew she was pregnant and I told him she had her baby. Just a little 'say hello' kind of note. So now I got this full-blown letter back from him telling me he did not know what to do when I did not call over X-mas (actually I wrote him and told him what was going on in my life), and that we were obviously not on the same page (ya think?) and, while he felt I was lovely and kind etc. that he did not want to have a relationship with me unless we could be more than 'just friends'.

I am debating whether to write him back and tell him I was tired of him making comments about me wearing glasses, and aksing me when I was going to get contacts and grow my hair longer and telling me how to behave in front of his employees etc. I mean what nerve some people have. Not to mention asking him how the hell we could possibly be on the same page (what with me still hurting and all) - oh, and did I mention his house is a shrine to his wife that's been dead for 8 years!!! (Kinder Colette - therefore he must be hurting too n'est ce pas?)

So perhaps I should take a poll....do I say these things or do I just very nicely tell him he's right that there WAS NO CHEMISTRY and that we will never be anything even remotely romantic to each other..... (if you want to know what and to whom I am referring, to you can find my post about it
here - entitled: 'Sometimes it's the things you DON'T say...' - where I mention this guy's behaviour. If you participate in the poll you might want to read it....

Meanwhile,

ponder, ponder, ponder

^_^