Valentine's Day...apropos of nothing

Yep.

I really want to write something. But today has really sucked. Mainly becuase I've been at home sick (so is my son) - both of us miserable - sort of like the weather outside today. Just miserable.

I have never liked Valentine's Day. I feel it puts way too much pressure on men and women to be romantic and, in essence, ends up turning both sexes into asses. This is something that should not be forced. And if your relationship is 'off it's game' so to speak - it can make things even worse by pointing out the obvious.

I got an e-mail valentine (which was nice) - that's it. No date, no gifts, no hope, at least for now that this is going to change anytime soon. My longing to be romanced is only outweighed by my longing to be in a healthy, MONOGAMOUS, working partnership with someone I can relate to who is a stable, grown up and who feels the way I do about relationships. It's as if I am in the crow's nest of my ship heading out to sea and through my binoculars I see nothing even closely resembling that 'land' on the horizon - where I can once again begin to get my footing, my bearings when it comes to love. But then I have to keep telling myself not to worry - it's all OK in the end - even if I end up alone. Because being alone is better than being in a sick relationship and being alone is better than jumping into something I am not ready for - not yet.

I will write more later. I think for now I am going to crawl back into bed and pray that I can be well enough to go to work tomorrow.