Begging crumbs from a cold universe

So Sunday – before I went off to have a girl’s day out, I sat for a bit to watch an old favourite of mine from when I was a teen. Stephen King’s ‘Carrie’. This movie scared the hell out of me. It is still today, not a bad movie. Campy, but not bad. I liked the way the book ended better than the movie’s ending.

The scene where the girls were cruel when Carrie got her period reminded me in some ways of myself. I was so un-educated. My mom never expected me to get my period at the age of 11 years – so when I did and thought I was bleeding to death and ran screaming downstairs to announce it in front of her entire card club – well I am sure that was a fun moment…for her. For me it was terrifying. I was always so uncouth.

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The afternoon was nice. We were supposed to have quite a few girls together for a get-together and some Yoga. We had all worked together for the alternative medicine arm of the place where I work (until that fell apart) – and we were getting together to reminisce and to have a bit of a ‘wake’, closure whatever you want to call it. But it ended up being the former dept. administrator and myself; I love this woman. Her life was as messed up as mine and now she lives happily ever after in a beautiful castle with a wonderful man. Eventually the conversation found it’s way to my life, my love life. She gave me some advice – and I’ve heard about this technique before. She told me to send out to the universe for the ‘type’ of man I wanted to be with. All the qualities I need to have in a mate. As a pagan/wiccan I used to feel that this was not a good thing to to..however, I have to admit here that I DID that way back when and my ex appeared. At the time we met – he WAS perfect for me. He really was. I did not know you had to ask the universe to prepare for ANY eventuality including but not limited to: insanity, financial irresponsibility, laziness, cheating, lying, and turning bi-sexual suddenly.

*Sigh*

Somehow I think that I might end up in the same boat. I am going to compile a list. I can post it, you can all poke fun at it. I can post a little application form for those interested in applying for the job *snicker*...

Life’s so funny…

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So I hear from one of my old-time pen-pals (you can find his blog posted on my sidebar – go to 'whispers'(NOW!))

^_^

He’s a wonderful and intelligent man, and I adore his writing. And it was so damned good to get a letter from him. I miss hearing from him and his life is always so very busy and full of well…life. I envy that. Ah youth – so very wasted on the young.

I wrote to him (of course) immediately. He wrote back and now I owe him another letter. I must send this off to him soon – as I’d like it to be there for him when he returns from his travels. So perhaps like Anais Nin – I will become a woman of letters – long distance letters. Because people ‘in the flesh’ can be so very disappointing, and I don’t think my heart can bear to be broken anymore.

Off now to think about the list.

A bientot,
Colette