Philosophical views a la Homer Simpson

I had to post this - it's from the philosopher's board on Yahoo!

Enjoy!

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Feeling lost and adrift? Gain inner peace reading Homer. No, not the
Greek guy. Homer Simpson. Here are some Homeric jewels to live by:

The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle.
They're on TV.

What's the point of going out? We're just going to end up back here
anyway.

Trying is the first step toward failure.

You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once and move on.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

The three little sentences that will get you through life.
1. Cover for me.
2. Oh, good idea, Boss.
3. It was like that when I got here.