'Words that somehow must be said...'
I've tried, time and time again to let you know...tried talking to you.
It never works...it probably never has..it probably never will and now it doesn't really matter any more....
Yet, you are surprised and angry.
I find myself curious as to what is so surprising (although I am not surprised at your anger - it's your MO a lot of the time)...
Is it that I no longer desire to be a part of your life, your games, your deceptions (and your utter refusal to acknowledge them), your tantrums, your 'illness', your so-called 'love'?
Or is it simply because I have some new-found happiness and it's hard for you to bear?
You were the one I chose, over things that I should have held more dear, that is MY problem, my cross to bear, and my karma for which I will surely pay....I have already a bit if you ask me...
I never lied to you, misled you, or cheated on you. I loved you deeply, truly, madly, I would have done anything to help you. I DID sacrifice to help you and it wasn't that I expected anything in return, except perhaps, to be treated like the partner I was trying to be for you...
You threw me away like so much trash, the one person you could have been honest with, the one who probably would have understood the most, the one who defended you, stood by your side (even when your other loved ones wouldn't).
I understand you were sick, you needed help, but it was always 'someone else's fault', never something you really seemed interested in solving...
You made choices and it was obvious that those choices would lead to the end of us. I may have made choices that helped that process along as well - I am not denying that - it takes two to tango, darling...
Now it's time to let it all rest..to be free, to move on, to put it all behind us.
More than anything I wish you peace.
It never works...it probably never has..it probably never will and now it doesn't really matter any more....
Yet, you are surprised and angry.
I find myself curious as to what is so surprising (although I am not surprised at your anger - it's your MO a lot of the time)...
Is it that I no longer desire to be a part of your life, your games, your deceptions (and your utter refusal to acknowledge them), your tantrums, your 'illness', your so-called 'love'?
Or is it simply because I have some new-found happiness and it's hard for you to bear?
You were the one I chose, over things that I should have held more dear, that is MY problem, my cross to bear, and my karma for which I will surely pay....I have already a bit if you ask me...
I never lied to you, misled you, or cheated on you. I loved you deeply, truly, madly, I would have done anything to help you. I DID sacrifice to help you and it wasn't that I expected anything in return, except perhaps, to be treated like the partner I was trying to be for you...
You threw me away like so much trash, the one person you could have been honest with, the one who probably would have understood the most, the one who defended you, stood by your side (even when your other loved ones wouldn't).
I understand you were sick, you needed help, but it was always 'someone else's fault', never something you really seemed interested in solving...
You made choices and it was obvious that those choices would lead to the end of us. I may have made choices that helped that process along as well - I am not denying that - it takes two to tango, darling...
Now it's time to let it all rest..to be free, to move on, to put it all behind us.
More than anything I wish you peace.
posted by Colette at 7:43 PM
2 Comments:
It's not about killing them with kindness when peace steps in to resuscitate the heart... Your soul shines my friend...
As usual your eloquence shines cheri - I feel it's an honour to have you notice me, amd comment on my writing and my life...
I thank you most humbly for taking the time to write such beautiful words to me...
Post a Comment
<< Home