Childhood's End...
(...and yes, I DO like that book)....
Last night my son and his dad had a ‘conversation’. Prompted in part by the fact that my ex is tired of Tony having ‘no direction’ in his life – this in turn is due to the fact that my ex has no direction in HIS OWN life and Tony has spent the better part of his childhood seeing this as an example of how one lives.
My son has not gone to school. We made a decision to let him take some ‘time off’ – it was a bad decision. My son’s life now consists of partying, working (tops 25-30 hours per week) and sleeping until afternoon. This IS unacceptable. We should have made him go to school.
I’ve been trying to be patient. I’ve been trying to ‘talk’ to my son, to reason with him. He is a bit depressed. He is really down on himself. He does not think he is attractive and, because he is very intelligent, he ends up being a loner. It’s a hard thing for a mom to watch. This should be the best time of his life (perhaps not – I suppose we all struggled even after turning 18).
So the boom has been lowered. Tonight when I go home I won’t have much time – then I have to teach, hopefully I will catch Tony and talk to him a bit. Unfortunately, I think he works tonight. Tomorrow he will be off and I have a concert to go to – but I should be able to see him when I get home from work. Either way we have to talk and perhaps I can soften some of what dad said to him. I don’t necessarily think all the edges need to be softened – Tony NEEDED this ‘talking to’ – it’s just that my ex has a tendency to be insulting when he gives such talks and for someone with an already low self esteem that does no good…in fact it might end up backfiring.
Last night my son and his dad had a ‘conversation’. Prompted in part by the fact that my ex is tired of Tony having ‘no direction’ in his life – this in turn is due to the fact that my ex has no direction in HIS OWN life and Tony has spent the better part of his childhood seeing this as an example of how one lives.
My son has not gone to school. We made a decision to let him take some ‘time off’ – it was a bad decision. My son’s life now consists of partying, working (tops 25-30 hours per week) and sleeping until afternoon. This IS unacceptable. We should have made him go to school.
I’ve been trying to be patient. I’ve been trying to ‘talk’ to my son, to reason with him. He is a bit depressed. He is really down on himself. He does not think he is attractive and, because he is very intelligent, he ends up being a loner. It’s a hard thing for a mom to watch. This should be the best time of his life (perhaps not – I suppose we all struggled even after turning 18).
So the boom has been lowered. Tonight when I go home I won’t have much time – then I have to teach, hopefully I will catch Tony and talk to him a bit. Unfortunately, I think he works tonight. Tomorrow he will be off and I have a concert to go to – but I should be able to see him when I get home from work. Either way we have to talk and perhaps I can soften some of what dad said to him. I don’t necessarily think all the edges need to be softened – Tony NEEDED this ‘talking to’ – it’s just that my ex has a tendency to be insulting when he gives such talks and for someone with an already low self esteem that does no good…in fact it might end up backfiring.
posted by Colette at 7:03 AM
1 Comments:
je pense que c'est un grand problem de pays riches quand les enfants arretent d'aller délibérément aux écoles. c'est la meme probleme que je vois avec des enfants de famille riche.
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