Talking....
...just to hear the sound of your own voice....
Sounds depressing doesn't it - it is.
The weekend was eh/OK. Went with Erin and the kids to go his mom - all the mother-in-law crap aside, she is a nice person and she loves him and her grandchildren....
I have a lot going on in my mind...
I've been thinking about emotional stuff - things from the past - and those issues that may very well affect my future.
I wonder (a lot).
The introspective subject tonight is 'cheating'.
Having lived on both sides of this issue I can tell you I go through a lot of conflicting feelings.
First off let me say it is NEVER OK in my book to cheat - I don't care how fucking bad it gets - go away if you have to do that - grow some balls and get honest.
But I have some questions to put to you all - up to you to give me your 2 pennies worth.
Is it EVER OK to cheat?
Once you have cheated, should you come clean or just hope that it goes away (this is supposing you have ended your affair)?
Once you do come clean (if you do) what should be the response of the injured party?
Do you feel people deserve to be cheated on?
Once someone cheats will they always be that way? Can they ever change? Should they be given a second chance?
Do certain behaviours lead to or are certain personalities prone to cheating?
How do you ever learn to trust again?
********
This is a very painful topic for me in very many ways. I have mixed feelings about my own experiences and you all can read back into my 'history' if you wish - there are always two sides to every story.
I get personally alarmed when I hear people justify their affairs - I am sure to some extent, those who cheat do this - perhaps it's out of guilt, perhaps it's a way to let themselves 'off the hook' - forgiveness is key not just for the cheated on but for the cheater - it's just knowing when that forgiveness is warranted (I believe in order to heal from ANY wrong you have no choice but to forgive the perpetrator, otherwise, you end up being a prisoner of the crime) - and knowing whether to move on with that person or not as the case may be.
Sometimes, I just wish I could turn my mind off....
Sounds depressing doesn't it - it is.
The weekend was eh/OK. Went with Erin and the kids to go his mom - all the mother-in-law crap aside, she is a nice person and she loves him and her grandchildren....
I have a lot going on in my mind...
I've been thinking about emotional stuff - things from the past - and those issues that may very well affect my future.
I wonder (a lot).
The introspective subject tonight is 'cheating'.
Having lived on both sides of this issue I can tell you I go through a lot of conflicting feelings.
First off let me say it is NEVER OK in my book to cheat - I don't care how fucking bad it gets - go away if you have to do that - grow some balls and get honest.
But I have some questions to put to you all - up to you to give me your 2 pennies worth.
Is it EVER OK to cheat?
Once you have cheated, should you come clean or just hope that it goes away (this is supposing you have ended your affair)?
Once you do come clean (if you do) what should be the response of the injured party?
Do you feel people deserve to be cheated on?
Once someone cheats will they always be that way? Can they ever change? Should they be given a second chance?
Do certain behaviours lead to or are certain personalities prone to cheating?
How do you ever learn to trust again?
********
This is a very painful topic for me in very many ways. I have mixed feelings about my own experiences and you all can read back into my 'history' if you wish - there are always two sides to every story.
I get personally alarmed when I hear people justify their affairs - I am sure to some extent, those who cheat do this - perhaps it's out of guilt, perhaps it's a way to let themselves 'off the hook' - forgiveness is key not just for the cheated on but for the cheater - it's just knowing when that forgiveness is warranted (I believe in order to heal from ANY wrong you have no choice but to forgive the perpetrator, otherwise, you end up being a prisoner of the crime) - and knowing whether to move on with that person or not as the case may be.
Sometimes, I just wish I could turn my mind off....
Labels: Cheating, Relationship
posted by Colette at 9:18 PM
2 Comments:
Awww...
Thanks sweetie...
That has to be some of the best advice/words of wisdom ever posted here.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
{{HUGS}}
And much love,
C -
ok, this is my response, and no, you wont find this in the bible.
Is it EVER OK to cheat? No, if something is wrong enough for you to feel like you "need" to cheat ( wich I have to say if your married and grown up, I find it a childish way to do things) then you NEED to talk, and or seperate for a while perhaps!
Once you have cheated, should you come clean or just hope that it goes away (this is supposing you have ended your affair)? The truth will set you free. If you lie (trust me) then you will just have to keep coming up with lies, it will tire you out, it is entirely way to much work!
Once you do come clean (if you do) what should be the response of the injured party? Should be : to be forgiving, to be loveing, to understand, and to want to work through it. Would be: divorced.
Do you feel people deserve to be cheated on? N O
that kind of pain is uncalled for! It is un needed and just plain childish! One thing I always told my (teenaged) friends was, if you feel like you might cheat on your boyfriend, then you oviously shouldnt be with him!
Once someone cheats will they always be that way? NO, I know from experience! Can they ever change? Yes, theres always room for change. Should they be given a second chance? Always, Jesus gives you millions of second chances, you should do the same ( ok that was from the bible, HA!)
Do certain behaviours lead to or are certain personalities prone to cheating? If you ask a doctor, yes. If you ask me NO. I think people that cheat ( no offensse to anyone, just my oppion) do it for their own selfishness, for their own needs, and dont really consider what is going to happen to EVERYONE involved!
How do you ever learn to trust again? With love, with an open mind, with lots and lots of dedication, with work, with warmth, with true and never ending arms wraped around you, with tears, and with sorrow. But it can be done and I am the true exaple of that and true outcome of it! I have been on both sides, and Yes you can tear those walls down, and yes you can take that mask off. Becuase its is lonley in the world with walls and fancy faces.
Love ya, and hoped that mabey helped? =P
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