Recalling

That 'new car smell' of love (post from last year)

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Love is blindness....

I don’t want to see....

*sighs*

I suppose there’s a reason why this stuff is referred to as ‘the tender trap’ for I feel a bit trapped indeed.

I have so many emotions whirling around inside of me these days. Sometimes I don’t even know which end is up.

In all that has happened to me since the demise of my marriage I think that part of me forgot what it was like to just date someone. Let me tell you it’s NOT like riding a bike (not with this guy anyway).

I am falling there is no doubt about it, falling faster than my own personal velocity is used to or feels capable of. I need something to stablise me (I don’t want it to be him, though – although he IS very stable) - something so that I can keep my wits about me – because I feel like they are turning to jelly right before my very eyes.

Typically we are often told to not put our eggs in one basket when it comes to things like this. I could become a ‘modern’ woman – a player. I don’t want to – it’s that pure and that simple. I like this guy. I like him A LOT. In fact it’s actually scary how much I DO like him because I just don’t go for guys in this manner. There is so much to him and it keeps revealing itself – a lifting of the veils. I feel this is as close as I am ever going to get to seeing someone’s soul. The closeness really takes me by surprise. I never thought I would want to be this close to anyone ever again. So I am feeling a bit off-kilter from the force of this and the quickness of it as well. I keep telling myself to ‘slow down!’ (screaming it at myself actually), but I don’t seem to be listening.

I am happy, really and truly happy. I have not felt this happy in years. I mean from the end of my marriage on – and that’s 4 friggin’ years! Oh and don’t get me wrong, I’ve been happy – but not like this.

He does things to me (*laughs* not THOSE things you pervs) – he makes me think about things – deeply, he makes me giggle (that’s right I said *giggle*), he makes me want to be calmer (for all of you out there that know me, truly know me, this is HUGE), he respects me, he honours me, he is truly a wonderful person inside and out – he is rare and all those things I never thought I’d find. I feel I’ve met my match. And, not to be cliché or quote stupid movies: he makes me want to be a better person and he had me a ‘hello’.


I said I was not going to post much about this on here but I had to post this. Because this is the old Colette talking as well – yet it’s the new Colette. I want this to be here in this forum for it’s part of me, of who I am, of who I am becoming, and I know I want to share this with the world and scream it from the rooftops cause that how excited I am to be involved in this.

There aren’t going to be names, or ‘gory’ details but just the ‘update’ which a lot of you deserve and I want to thank all of you for all of your support when I was going through my darkest times – for that I will always love all of you – you have no idea how much you all mean to me.

So thank you AGAIN from the bottom of my heart – which is now brimming over with joy.

As ever,
XOXOXOXO
Colette