...to have and to hold...from this day forward..
Silda Spitzer Elle June 2008 - ELLE
...that is UNTIL....
Some articles from this month's Elle magazine caught my eye last night as I waited in the hair salon (see the link above and the one in the word 'article'). I am not usually one to be looking at 'glamour' zines mainly cause I don't even aspire to be that way....but these were both well written and thought provoking articles about love, marriage, fidelity and what happens 'after' everything well...happens.
So what DOES happen to us? Some things like THIS ARTICLE hits WAY too close to home.
What is is the kills the most 'mythic' faerie tale romance?
Lack of communication? One too many nights being ignored, neglected, feeling like you are the only one that doesn't matter as your significant other deals with everything else in their life that does? Being told one to many times 'not tonight dear'? The silent treatments, the unresolved fights, the not having enough time for yourself, your job, your family but then still being expected to be sexy and hot and a Victoria's Secret model?
Yeah...
Do I sound bitter? Perhaps. But this blog has been nothing if not a way for me to think (out loud and I apologise - that is, I guess if it bothers you...) - a way to be introspective.
As I get ready to be married again - I obviously have a lot on my mind, jitters, concerns, excitement the whole nien yards. I wonder about the pitfalls ahead and think about which one I will miss, not be paying attention too or simply willingly abandon myself to...and which will he?
This blog has been a teacher for me, a sounding board, a bell of resonance. I am thinking seriously of just killing it because I am not sure I have much else to say and other than a very few close friends (maybe some family) who really pays attention? And this isn't a 'poor little me' jag - it's just the truth. Some days, I don't even know what my own truth is - and frankly, philosophically isn't that what life is? The quest for our truth.
So I hope you all fare well while I go off to meditate, contemplate and try to get my 'shit' together. I feel like disappearing for a while and then resurfacing when all the secret landmines, obvious warnng signs and all other manner of subterfuge have vanished...
As to the question of 'what does happen to the happily ever after' - perhaps I am neither qualified or ready to tackle that question or brave those answers.
Love to you all, as ever...
Colette
...that is UNTIL....
Some articles from this month's Elle magazine caught my eye last night as I waited in the hair salon (see the link above and the one in the word 'article'). I am not usually one to be looking at 'glamour' zines mainly cause I don't even aspire to be that way....but these were both well written and thought provoking articles about love, marriage, fidelity and what happens 'after' everything well...happens.
So what DOES happen to us? Some things like THIS ARTICLE hits WAY too close to home.
What is is the kills the most 'mythic' faerie tale romance?
Lack of communication? One too many nights being ignored, neglected, feeling like you are the only one that doesn't matter as your significant other deals with everything else in their life that does? Being told one to many times 'not tonight dear'? The silent treatments, the unresolved fights, the not having enough time for yourself, your job, your family but then still being expected to be sexy and hot and a Victoria's Secret model?
Yeah...
Do I sound bitter? Perhaps. But this blog has been nothing if not a way for me to think (out loud and I apologise - that is, I guess if it bothers you...) - a way to be introspective.
As I get ready to be married again - I obviously have a lot on my mind, jitters, concerns, excitement the whole nien yards. I wonder about the pitfalls ahead and think about which one I will miss, not be paying attention too or simply willingly abandon myself to...and which will he?
This blog has been a teacher for me, a sounding board, a bell of resonance. I am thinking seriously of just killing it because I am not sure I have much else to say and other than a very few close friends (maybe some family) who really pays attention? And this isn't a 'poor little me' jag - it's just the truth. Some days, I don't even know what my own truth is - and frankly, philosophically isn't that what life is? The quest for our truth.
So I hope you all fare well while I go off to meditate, contemplate and try to get my 'shit' together. I feel like disappearing for a while and then resurfacing when all the secret landmines, obvious warnng signs and all other manner of subterfuge have vanished...
As to the question of 'what does happen to the happily ever after' - perhaps I am neither qualified or ready to tackle that question or brave those answers.
Love to you all, as ever...
Colette
posted by Colette at 7:19 AM
2 Comments:
Personally, I think the question, "What happens to the happily ever after" is a completely bogus question.
I find that typically when people date they act differently than they do in their regular lives. This sets up an unsustainable dynamic unless one is willing, and capable, to fundamentally change who they are and become the person they are presenting. Maybe dating is normally the period of wearing each other down until the true-self is exposed.
For me however, I have tried my hardest to be exactly who I really am. No masks, no secrets. If I did something romantic, it came from my core, and I promise you that romantic nature isn't going to go away. It's part of me, not part of my mask. If I kept a neat house, it's because I like having my forks in nice piles in the drawer, and not because I was trying to fake it and impress you.
There is no end to the fairy-tale love. The only end would be if the fairy-tale love was just that... a fairy-tale and not the real thing.
My dearest Colleen, for me this fairy-tale love is the real thing. I'm sorry if my job stress and illness has hidden from you how I much I love you and distracted me from being the real me that you have known for these years.
I Love you with all my heart.
Forever yours,
E
I would definitely like to comment on the potential loss of this blog.
I have recently gone back and started from the beginning reading your journey.
This blog has been a journey, it began with you in the deepest darkest despair that anyone can face, the infidelity of a mate. It has traveled through all of the ups and downs of your life through these nearly 5 years, and here we are at the other side, ending with the dawn of your "happily ever after".
I for one don't want to see the journey closed because you've reached this point. If I've learned anything about you my dearest friend, it is that you are a vocal person who has a lot to say.
So keep saying it!
I do want to know what comes after Happily Ever After!
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