Friday, January 05, 2007

"God is a bullet, have mercy on us, everyone."

(Now listening to: Concrete Blonde: 'Recollection')

Darkness descends upon me....

I am feeling these 'energies' so acutely. I am trying to sort through them, without much luck.

There's just some recent events that have triggered this dissatisfaction to come bubbling to the surface - I want to go to my room and lock out the world.

I am wondering about certain 'issues' in my life, about my relationships and thinking about whether I should even open my mouth of if actions (or I am thinking inaction), will just speak the loudest. Perhaps I should just back off for a while and see what happens - again the doubts - I've tried 'turning them over' but they aren't budging and it really is beginning to give me pause. I am tired of being the one giving the most all the time (it has nothing to do with that compassionate streak I seem to possess which I wish I could rid myself of at times). I am just tired and it's time to stop. Oh well...if things are meant to pan out they will - if not so be it....

2 Comments:

Blogger Erin Garlock said...

Am I missing something? If so fill me in so I can: improve if you're talking about me, or give you support if you're not.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Colette said...

I don't know if you are missing things or not. I HAVE told you how I feel - I do so nearly every day....

I don't want you to feel like you are some kind of 'project' or something that needs improved upon - nor do I want this relationship to be/feel that way...but I do want romance and all that goes with that...I hope that is not expecting too much....it's all a matter of longing and not wanting to feel as if I am being a pest I suppose....

12:58 PM  

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