In a state of disbelief...

OK – only two people out there are going to get what I am writing here – the rest of you – go read something else.

This is an open response to a lunatic. And it’s not going to be very ‘Christian’, compassionate, or kind, so in advance I’d like to apologise mainly to my daughter (I love you Rissa – but I have to do this)

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Dear Sir,

Go to fucking hell – but then you probably don’t believe in hell.

How dare you rant at me about my relationship.

Who do you think you are?

Why are you bothering me – why are you so intent on trying to either destroy or cast doubt upon my love? Why does it matter so much to you? I can tell you my own personal take on this, and it is because I rebuffed your sexual advances – which, when you found out I was in a serious relationship (not to mention engaged), should have ended immediately. There is nothing wrong with flirting but e-mailing me to ask me to mail you a pair of my panties so you could use them as a rag to catch your cum was not only out of line but totally reprehensible. You claim I was asking you to be 'transparent' with me - I would never in a million years request that sort of 'transparency' from ANYONE in any way, shape or form - not even one of my lovers - you are using that as an excuse to delude yourself into some sort of twisted thinking that I even wanted such advances from you. You sir, are an ass.

You have never met either one of us – you do not truly know us – the only way you know me is from reading this thing we call a blog – you have never met me, you have never been in the same room with me. Nor have you met my love or been in the same room as him. YOU DON’T KNOW US. My love may disagree with me (he does on this) but I don’t think it’s possible to truly know anyone without meeting them face to face because the eyes are the light of the soul.

Your soul, sir is sorely lacking in such a manner. And I am sorry to say this…for I suppose in essence and to be equally fair to you, I don’t truly know you – but I do know by the totally uncalled-for hate you’ve been spewing and your constant attacks, that this is the case - for someone with compassion in their soul would not act in such a vicious manner unless they themselves had an agenda.

We ALL have agendas. We all fall short. You seem to imply that I am falling a victim of someone’s agenda – are you including yourself in that assessment? You claim to be a friend and you claim that I am making a huge mistake – I have to tell you sir that I am lucky to count as my friends some of the most sane, sincere, and intelligent people I have ever known (family as well) and if they thought I was making such a huge mistake I guarantee you they love me enough to tell me, no matter how much it would hurt me in the short run and for the record, they DID speak up about my ex. Not a single one of them has told me anything of the sort about my love, and the closest thing that has come up, is a person with a similar agenda to yours on my love’s end who is acting jealous and completely out of line on her part and doing her best to cast doubts and fear – projecting that of her own need/desires/misconceptions onto our relationship – perhaps I should introduce you to one another – maybe you can form a bond, since I am guessing you don’t have a lot of true friends and that is why you have all the time in the world to do this…and the need for it as well. Apparently it pains you to see people in love and happy. Perhaps you need to get counseling over your own failed unrequited love that has seemingly caused you to go insane.

Does my love have faults – you fucking bet he does! Do I? Even moreso – never would I think otherwise – does that make me wrong or blind for loving him? Wrong? I don’t think so. Love is blind? Perhaps. Let me share an old quote with you (doubt you will be wise enough to pick up on this but here goes):

“Love is not blind, it sees more, not less, but because it sees more, it’s willing to see less.”

Put that in your ‘opium pipe of the masses’ and smoke it. (Sorry I had to go there)…yeah I AM brilliant so go fuck yourself.

As far as your charge that I can not think for myself and that I am so desperate to have a man in my life that I would put up with just about 'anything' because I am vulnerable and weak; that I am allowing him to manipulate me due to my low self-esteem - once again GO FUCK YOURSELF! The only way you 'know' me is by this blog and some e-mails back and forth - this blog is a chronicle of my pain and is nearly one-dimensional - if I did not have balls, or guts, or fortitude I'd have never had the backbone or courage to leave my ex - I would have just rolled over and played dead. You can ask anyone of my friends OR my family about my spine - they will tell you I have one - sometimes too much of one to my own detriment. Further what the fuck could you possibly know of love? Obviously nothing, because in order to be in love you have allow yourself some measure of vulnerability - does that mean I am being a sheep for him? I don't think so my dear - no one has that much control over me. Nor is my self-esteem so lacking as to take up with just any old jerk - which is why I kept telling you no - obviously my standards were simply too high to be with someone as jaded and as lacking in character as you.

You have been totally out of control ever since my love began to challenge you on something you fancy yourself to be an expert on – YOUR PERSONAL take on Christianity – and it is nothing more than opinion and conjecture. You can’t stand it when someone challenges you in a debate? Well then I suggest you find a mirror and debate yourself. You claim people in the ‘group’ mailed you their responses in private? Produce the proof of that cause I think you are lying. I know for a fact that others in this so-called group of yours have e-mailed my love complaining about you and your spewing constantly – not only have you been without regard for anyone’s beliefs in God but you have been on some one-man, misdirected crusade to deconstruct Christianity/Religion again based solely on nothing more than your opinion – you who were at one time studying religion but then by your own admission ‘dropped out’ – so it is you we are to believe and not someone with the balls and courage and discipline to have completed their degrees? Please. Say what you will about my love – at least he finishes his tasks AND his education.

I am tired of defending the character of someone who, in my estimation needs no defense to someone the likes of you whom I find to be selfish, rude, inconsiderate, debased, immoral, and a self-righteous know-it-all.

I have nothing more to say on this matter – you may consider this MY message of closure to you - I am asking you PUBLICLY and nicely to leave me alone - hopefully some of your brain still retains the sense to listen to such a request.