Monday, December 29, 2003

D-I-V-O-R-C-E

well I guess we tried....he probably would not agree with this..but still

To have to keep getting heart broken over and over - this time because he decided to have 'HER' spend the night over because he felt sorry for her - boo-hoo-hoo - PLEASE spare me ok? The ONLY reason to have a 19 year old spend the night with you is well - you do the math...

I am not trying to be cynical or nasty but let's face it the trust is destroyed and there's no going back.

He tells me he ended things but I have no way of knowing that and how can I REALLY believe him when all he does is lie? He says divorce is not the answer 'fixing' things is - how do you fix this?? It's all so damned insane and I just can't take it anymore.

I love him still...but I am finished with all this pain all the lies. He lies not only to me but to himself - he wants me to believe there are no more feelings for this girl but that's a lie too. Why can't he just strap on a pair of balls and get honest with me. But since that's never going to happen he leaves me not much choice but to end things so I don't have to keep going through the agony of wondering night after night - is he with her? have they been together? I guess now there is no question - they can have each other and be at peace....

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