Let the punishment fit the crime
Everyone I have talked to - and I mean everyone - wants me to leave this jerk. People I don't even know want me to leave him.
I don't believe he loves me. I don't believe he knows how to love anyone because, I don't believe he loves himself. I think it is more of an obsession with him about me - I don't know why. I don't know what I represent to him that is so damned important. I can tell you that if I were to leave him, in a couple of days he'd be fine, back on his feet, finding women again - probably go back to Erin and it would be like nothing had ever happened - oh sure, he might be sad, he'd certainly be pissed - I mean there goes his meal ticket, he would not be able to buy so many comics or game stuff. But he'd be OK. Of course he would not continue with therapy - I mean why bother, he'd go off of his meds (he can't afford them) and his life would go on. Sans depression I am sure - because he probably just trots it out when he wants people to feel bad for him - or he wants to excuse his behaviour. So he would not need to be depressed if I am out of his life for good. In fact it may very well make him happier in the long run.
We've never really gotten along. Oh sure at first the sex was great - I mean it was really amazing, but, when it came to the other stuff - the meat and potatoes the REAL stuff that you need to make a relationship work - we always failed or his sickness made him do things to cause failure. We never really worked the way we needed to. We can't function together as a 'normal' couple. He will never be normal. I will always want to hope that I can save him with love etc. There are some people you just can't save and I think it's high time I worried about myself for a change.
We need to break up.
I don't believe he loves me. I don't believe he knows how to love anyone because, I don't believe he loves himself. I think it is more of an obsession with him about me - I don't know why. I don't know what I represent to him that is so damned important. I can tell you that if I were to leave him, in a couple of days he'd be fine, back on his feet, finding women again - probably go back to Erin and it would be like nothing had ever happened - oh sure, he might be sad, he'd certainly be pissed - I mean there goes his meal ticket, he would not be able to buy so many comics or game stuff. But he'd be OK. Of course he would not continue with therapy - I mean why bother, he'd go off of his meds (he can't afford them) and his life would go on. Sans depression I am sure - because he probably just trots it out when he wants people to feel bad for him - or he wants to excuse his behaviour. So he would not need to be depressed if I am out of his life for good. In fact it may very well make him happier in the long run.
We've never really gotten along. Oh sure at first the sex was great - I mean it was really amazing, but, when it came to the other stuff - the meat and potatoes the REAL stuff that you need to make a relationship work - we always failed or his sickness made him do things to cause failure. We never really worked the way we needed to. We can't function together as a 'normal' couple. He will never be normal. I will always want to hope that I can save him with love etc. There are some people you just can't save and I think it's high time I worried about myself for a change.
We need to break up.
posted by Colette at 10:57 AM
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