What I've become
I have become the invisible woman. He looks at me - he does not really see me - the real me at least. He just busies himself with his life and hopes that in the end he will win me back. What hurts so badly is the fact that his friends after seeing him, tell me that if they did not know what was going on with him, they would never know he was hurt, upset, missing his wife. How am I suppose to take this kind of stuff? Probably the same way I take took the news about him lying to people (including Erin) about his marital status, telling friends he was looking for a place of his own (behind my back!), telling them if things didn't change HE was leaving. Fucking bastard. Who the hell does he think he is? He deserves to be alone...
I watched the movie "Frida" this weekend. She was amazing. She kept true to herself despite her love for Rivera and the price she paid for loving him. She loved him, even though he was incapable of loyalty and fidelity and yet what choice did she have but to love him? And that is how I feel in a lot of ways about Dreamer...what choice do I have? Like her, I want to be the invincible woman not the invisible woman. I hope I have it in my soul to turn my back on him when I need to - for my own good, for my own salvation.
I watched the movie "Frida" this weekend. She was amazing. She kept true to herself despite her love for Rivera and the price she paid for loving him. She loved him, even though he was incapable of loyalty and fidelity and yet what choice did she have but to love him? And that is how I feel in a lot of ways about Dreamer...what choice do I have? Like her, I want to be the invincible woman not the invisible woman. I hope I have it in my soul to turn my back on him when I need to - for my own good, for my own salvation.
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