'Tis the season
When I was a little girl, our school put on plays for the Christmas Holiday season - I must have been about 9, or 10 or 11 years old at the time of this particular memory.
Keeping in mind I attended a Catholic school, the play had your typical nativity scene and lots of cute 'Christmas' songs. The entire school participated in these atrocious pageants.
This song was taught to us girls by one particularly twisted lay teacher - I don't remember her name - but I do recall her being fiery and full of mischief.
Below are the lyrics for this song (or at least what I can remember - I think I came pretty close to the exact lyrics) - I can't even tell you who wrote the song - or even the correct name *laugh* - and you can see from the way the animals were treated in the song, this was before the days of political correctness and PETA. (Please note I would never harm any animal and no animals were harmed by the singing of this song). ^_^
Every now and then during the holidays, my sister and I will sing this song, much to the mortification of our family members. When your drunk it's a hoot.
Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends.
*******************************************************************************
The first day after Christmas,
My true love and I had a fight.
And so I chopped that pear tree down
And burnt it just for spite.
Then, with a single cartridge,
I shot that blasted partridge…
My true love, my true love my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas,
I put on the ole’ rubber gloves,
And very gently wrung the necks of both those turtledoves.
The third day after Christmas,
My mother caught the croup,
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake,
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake,
And they turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas,
The six laying geese wouldn’t lay
I sent the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA
The seventh day what I mess I found,
All seven of the swimming swans had drown,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me
The eighth day after Christmas,
I took the eight maids-a-milking,
Nine ladies dancing, ten lords-a-leaping,
Eleven pipers-piping, Twelve drummers drumming
(Actually I kept one of the drummers for myself),
And sent them back collect, I wrote my true love,
“We are through, love” and in so many words..
“Furthermore, your Christmas gifts were for the birds!”
Keeping in mind I attended a Catholic school, the play had your typical nativity scene and lots of cute 'Christmas' songs. The entire school participated in these atrocious pageants.
This song was taught to us girls by one particularly twisted lay teacher - I don't remember her name - but I do recall her being fiery and full of mischief.
Below are the lyrics for this song (or at least what I can remember - I think I came pretty close to the exact lyrics) - I can't even tell you who wrote the song - or even the correct name *laugh* - and you can see from the way the animals were treated in the song, this was before the days of political correctness and PETA. (Please note I would never harm any animal and no animals were harmed by the singing of this song). ^_^
Every now and then during the holidays, my sister and I will sing this song, much to the mortification of our family members. When your drunk it's a hoot.
Happy Hanukkah to all my Jewish friends.
*******************************************************************************
The first day after Christmas,
My true love and I had a fight.
And so I chopped that pear tree down
And burnt it just for spite.
Then, with a single cartridge,
I shot that blasted partridge…
My true love, my true love my true love gave to me.
The second day after Christmas,
I put on the ole’ rubber gloves,
And very gently wrung the necks of both those turtledoves.
The third day after Christmas,
My mother caught the croup,
I had to use the three French hens to make some chicken soup.
The four calling birds were a big mistake,
For their language was obscene
The five golden rings were completely fake,
And they turned my fingers green.
The sixth day after Christmas,
The six laying geese wouldn’t lay
I sent the whole darn gaggle to the ASPCA
The seventh day what I mess I found,
All seven of the swimming swans had drown,
My true love, my true love, my true love gave to me
The eighth day after Christmas,
I took the eight maids-a-milking,
Nine ladies dancing, ten lords-a-leaping,
Eleven pipers-piping, Twelve drummers drumming
(Actually I kept one of the drummers for myself),
And sent them back collect, I wrote my true love,
“We are through, love” and in so many words..
“Furthermore, your Christmas gifts were for the birds!”
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